Can my sister who is POA over my mother force my mom out of her home, and put her into a nursing home when she is competent?

Is this about different definitions of COMPETENT?

My mother would pass most mini mental tests and could fool lots of people on a short term basis. But her executive reasoning left over a year ago. We went through phone scams and bad falls where she was a bloody battered mess. But in her mind, Oh no, we don’t need help. We’re just fine!

This may not be the case with your mom but look at this closely and honestly.

The person who can force a move, IF the mother is incompetent, is the one who holds the healthcare POA (aka medical proxy). Does your sister have that? Do you?

Where one lives is considered a health issue. Where will this person be safe, have sufficient support to be as independent as she can be, and have the best quality of life?

I don't know your mother, of course, but I do know in general that people who have dementia cannot safely live alone beyond the very early stages.

What I'm wondering here is how you and your sister have such different views of your mother's health. For your mother's sake, you need to be on the same page, and both looking out for what will be best for Mom. Have you and Sis has sit-down, face-to-face discussions about what you've observed?

A starting place that would be very good for both of you is to have a needs assessment done for Mom. That would be an objective, trained, third party evaluating what Mom can safely to for herself and where she may need help.

Debra1002, here is an important question for you.... who told you that Mom will be moving out of your sister's home? Was it Mom? Or did your sister tell you? Once I know who told you, then it would make it better for me to answer your question.

I noticed your profile says that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia.

Is your mom living with your sister or in her own home?
If mom is living with sister then sister may have to evict her to legally make her move.
Are you thinking of taking mom in?
If mom is living in her own home then she doesn’t have to move on the authority of a POA. As your moms POA, your sister is responsible to do what your mom wants. She is not ‘over’ your mom but ‘for’ your mom.
Perhaps sister is worn out care taking. Maybe you could take mom to see her attorney so that she can make changes in her POA? Have you verified moms story with your sister?
It’s a stressful time of the year. Perhaps there are issues you aren’t aware of? I hope you can sort it out and help them through this rough patch.

Dear Debra,

Good of you to try and advocate for your mom. I would talk to Adult Protective Services, elder law attorney or a social worker about your sister. I would call her up and tell her, your mom wants to stay at home and let her know what you are going to do if she tries to force your mom's hand. Maybe a family therapist can help as well.

No she cannot be forced by anyone if she is competent. Mom should change her POA to someone that will honor HER wishes.