How to deal with hateful dementia mother?

Yes I think so..it's been difficult dealing with her my whole life..and now .I just can't take anymore..

Sounds like you've had enough and I don't blame you. Your siblings probably aren't in the picture because they know your mother is a very difficult woman and know that you've been responsive to her every need... until now. Is she a narcissist?

Thank you for your replies..She wouldn't go to a psycharist..though I feel she has issues..nor will she tell her primary care dr. Anything..I have come to the conclusion to walk away..My siblings are going to have to help...which I have my doubts..if nothing. Else contact some agency to intervene..

If a senior is acting out, without cause, I'd consider discussing with her doctor to see what could be the cause. Perhaps it's medical, like an infection, medication, illness, dementia, etc. I'd ask her doctor about a psychiatric referral too and explore medication, as that can help in some cases.

But, I'd consider that if she's always been difficult, she may be much more so now, depending on what is causing her agitation.  I'd explore other options for her care. Not everyone is cut out to be a hands on caregiver. And, some conditions progress, what if she becomes more challenging to care for? I'd read a lot about what the cause is and explore my options. Perhaps, other family members can step in and see for themselves what is going on.

Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist? Sometimes meds can help with agitation, delusions and paranoia.

Where is she living? Have you had a " needs assessment" done by the local Area Agency on Aging? They can help pinpoint your mom's needs and what help she is eligible for.

It sounds as though your siblings have done a good job at setting boundaries with a toxic parent. Can you do that as well?

Do you walk away when she screams? There is no excuse for a parent to verbally abuse her adult child. None.