I would like some advice and thinking about the effect of visitations and other contact with my wife who is in a care center full time.

Dad was in MC, and I visited every day. When I got there, I would tell him I had been busy taking care of things at home (dishes, dog, laundry). Upon leaving I would tell him, "I'll see you next time" and almost always, "I have to go to the store for milk" or "I have to go to the bank." All of that added to our conversation and were simple things he could relate to. I was told that he did ask about me if I was late getting there, and sometimes in some agitation, but he was always fine after I left.

Fisherman,
When I have to leave my DH, I tell him that I have a meeting, and I'll see him when the meeting is over.

igloo is a very respected member of this community.

Iggy? Are you male or female? Or a troll? Or Both? Or all three?

Be honest now. The whole world is watching ...

At my moms NH there were rooms at the ends of the hallways that were adjacent to the stairwell/fire escape. Due to the this & extra windows, those rooms were somewhat smaller floor plan than the regular 2-to-a-room situation. So they had only 1 bed AND still ok for Medicaid or other insurance payment co-sharing requirement. Almost like a mini ensuite situation as they had a love seat sofa. All had a resident who had a community spouse who visited daily/often. I’m pretty sure that there were sleep overs. If your question is geared towards privacy concerns for you & your bride, it can be worked out.

I'm not sure what else you are asking for Fisherman - if she is comforted by your presence for the time you are there, and if you also are comforted and value the time you spend with her and don't feel overburdened by it, then everything is good, right?

Dear Fisherman,

I'm so sorry this must be so hard. I know others will be able to offer more thoughts.

I had a different experience. My grandmother moved to a care center and she too always asked me where I've been or why I must leave. It was hard. I know the change from her home to a care center was not what she wanted. I tried to see her as much as could, but I knew she was lonely and wanted to be near her family. We have a large family so I had resentment there were not more visitors. We all just do the best we can.