My Father In Law is making my life miserable! How can I get him out of my house?

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Fedup13039 Asked January 2018

My Father In Law is making my life miserable! How can I get him out of my house?

My father in law came to visit a year and a half ago and hasn't left. He has an aide that comes in for a few hours a week. My children are not allowed to have friends over because he is staying with us. I live in the Northeast and he has my furnace at 71 in the winter and 68 in the summer. I have had to clean up bowel movements from my carpet, he stands in the entrance of our bathroom and just pees. I have a complete understanding and care for the man because of his age. Every few days my wife goes of the handle screaming and yelling at him. The kids and I walk on pins and needles just waiting for her to explode at us or him. I give up and want him out and a divorce. The man has been nothing but mean to me his whole life - he basically is a mean man and always has been. I am tired of the whole situation. I want my father in law out and then a divorce. The man has a sizable networth my wife will inherit and then divorce me anyways - I just want him out now. I have told him he needs to pay rent over and over and cover his cost to stay here which has been ignored. How can I kick him to the curb - he can easily pay the $5-8K a month to stay someplace nice, but my wife wants the money when he dies. Can I sue the estate for his back room and board and the damage to my home? Hardwood floors black, carpets and mattresses ruined?

Burnout Family Caregiver Marriage

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score 2 · Answer 1

I suggest you put Dad in respite care for a while, he can afford it. Have him evaluated while there. Then get to a councelor. Your wife needs to see the seriousness of what is going on. But you both need to get away from a toxic situation to do this. Maybe the children can go to a relatives so you can sort things out.

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score 4 · Answer 2

This is a totally unsuitable living condition for your children as well as for you. If I were you, I would contact a lawyer asap to see what your options are. It is understandable that you want some compensation for household damage at least.

I agree with cmag that your wife is "wedded" to her father and his money more than she is to you and your children. The situation is intolerable. Good luck.

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score 2 · Answer 3

How were things before Daddy Darling came to, er, visit?
How old are your kids?

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score 5 · Answer 4

What a sad, sad situation. That this one old man destroyed your family like this. It's very stressful. Why in the world doesn't your wife see this. You and the kids should be her first priority. Not her dad. Maybe if you call 911 it will wake her up. I too am dealing with my own mother and the same issues you have mentioned - incontinence of both kinds, ruined furniture and floors, stubbornness and control. My husband, like you has said no way!!! Unlike your wife, I have said no to my mom moving in. And believe me, it wasn't easy saying no to her. It was and continues to be the hardest thing I have ever done. She keeps asking and asking. I think she thinks I will eventually give in. But reading your post gives me validation that I am doing the right thing. Good luck to you. You are thinking right. Your wife needs to adjust her priorities. She can care for her father without him being right in your home.

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score 3 · Answer 5

Next time there is any disturbance in the household...call 911. Report that both of these people are out of control and a danger to you and the kids. Have them taken for evaluation. Then, do not allow the hospital to discharge him back to your house.

This will be a fight with your wife....insist she get an apartment for her and Dad..and then move Dad there from the hospital.

Be prepared to file for divorce the same week...just so she doesn't have the idea to let Dad return.

Since you have made up your mind about all this.....you need to fish or cut bait.

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score 5 · Answer 6

If I were you, I'd take the children and leave for it sounds like emotionally your wife has an unhealthy connection with her dad. She wants his money more than she wants you and the children.

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My Father In Law is making my life miserable! How can I get him out of my house?

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