I am wondering if this is a hallmark of dementia? My mother, who is 80 with advancing dementia, has become terribly abusive, both verbally and emotionally, toward my father. He's constantly walking on eggshells around her, hoping to keep her from going on one of her 'rampages'. But she goes off on him several times a week now, almost daily, saying the most terrible things to him, going into emotional rages. Is this something related to dementia? Her outbursts are so extreme and inappropriate I'm starting to wonder if she's just plain going crazy?
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I suggest your mom see the doctor who diagnosed her dementia and see if he/she will prescribe anti-anxiety medication for your mom. Or perhaps in getting your mom checked out for a UTI her doctor can prescribe medication to calm her down.
I don't know if your mom is going crazy or not but dementia is a brain disease that affects different people in different ways. Your mom has brain damage from the dementia and it's progressive. It will never get better, only worse. It might be time to discuss this with your dad. He has a long, difficult road ahead of him and if this is how your mom's dementia is going to be your dad is going to need help with your mom whether it comes from family or home healthcare or placing your mom in a facility. Trying to care for her is going to drag your dad down significantly. He may have to make some difficult decisions.
She's not yet been diagnosed, but her sibling passed away from dementia. She too had huge fits and fights with family.
So difficult to watch when all we crave are good times and good memories with her.
Praying you get answers.
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Everyone's dementia posts here have been helpful in educating me. My 96 year old mother is just beginning to show mental decline by accusing me of underlining words in her dictionary! I have ascribed previous hurtful things she said and did to meanness, and more recently to probable life-long paranoia. Because she has always talked ill of my father, of some others (and of me to others) I had learned to walk away from her as she still (barely) takes care of herself in a studio in my little house. However, with all of these posts, I am beginning to see that I have to change my own understanding (and not be hurt anymore). I will not be able to change the course of her disease, nor do I see a way to be free of her. It's heartbreaking how many of us have to be dealing with such situations...how many lives are affected. If she or I had the money, she would be in a facility - she gets along great with strangers. She has just a little too much SS to qualify for a subsidized place. I dread the future and resent it. My mother excused herself from caring for her own sweet mother, though she would have been in a good position to do so, and left it all up to her youngest sister. She truly enjoyed the independence I subsidized when she was in her seventies and early eighties. Now she lives with me (in my seventies) and I see no way out to enjoy freedom from her heavy presence in my last, good, mainly healthy years........ I have supported her emotionally and/or financially since I was 12, and though she is in almost constant pain from stenosis, she is iron willed about continuing this state of affairs.....96 going on 106. One thing I am grateful for is the emotional support of my good brothers. My mother, who is always the injured party, has burned her bridges with both wives so neither brother can ever take her.
That's my vent. I know it could be worse. And I do love my mother who is admirable in many ways.
Thanks for "listening".
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