How do I reconcile placing my spouse in memory care while she retains "some" cognizance?

It is generally considered best to place folks in memory care while they still have the cognizance to adjust to their new living situation.

I don't have personal experience with this as mom went from Independent Living to a NH due to a stroke and broken hip.

Trainer, Barb above is right. Better for a person to move into a continuing care facility while they can still learn their way around the building, learn their apartment, learn the Staff, and be able to meet new friends.

My Dad went from Independent Living to the next building which had a Memory Care floor. And the building was set up very similar. The 3 shifts of nurses were the same person, same with the Medtech who would give Dad his meds.

Just make sure your wife is able to bring to her new room the things most important to her. For my Dad, it was his 200 books which made the place feel more like home.

I agree with some of the responses. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and it was heartbreaking but it was the best decision. After interviewing 6 memory care units one of the Directors said to me, "All the thing you do now with her-dressing, bathrooms, bathing, feeding her, medications we will now do-you just provide the Love" When i was told that it was like this weight of the decision was lifted off my shoulders because I said,"I can do that". I told my wife she was going to Memory Rehab and they were going to help her with her memory. I came every day and spent time with her and fed her one of of her meals up to the day she passed and I was there with her and she knew I was there.

I agree with the above people - I have noticed most women wear clothes that I would say are suitable for going to the grocery store etc because as one lady said 'I got rid of all my work clothes because I'm not mopping the kitchen floor ever again!'

Going in while still able to know about some things is easier on the resident as they transition better - it is a fine line know when to make the change - good luck & be aware that you will also have a transition into a new routine of visiting her instead of hands on caregiving

I’m so glad you asked this question. As others have said, The best time to move into memory care is before the advanced stages of dementia. More cognizant residents can establish friendships, get to know staff, and adapt to routines. Imagine how horribly disruptive it is to make a move when you can make no sense of even the most familiar environments. That said, I firmly believe that people with dementia live better in memory care, regardless of where they are on the spectrum when they move in.
Have your spouse assessed. It’s possible that s/he could start out in assisted living or at least do a trial stay in AL.

Do you think you will be a better caregiver, a better advocate for her now that you can concentrate on HER as a person, as your WIFE, as the person you said you would care for in sickness and in health, not as a "patient".
By placing her you can care for her as a Husband that is more relaxed, more in control, not as stressed.
This is not to say you will have no cares, your cares will be the same you will also have to manage the people that care for her 24/7. But when you visit you will not have to worry about changing a brief, will not have to get lunch ready. You can have someone change the brief, someone will make lunch and you both can sit and enjoy lunch together just as you have done for many years.
Your life as direct caregiver ends your life as an advocate continues.
I am sure you spent many sleepless hours trying to decide if this was the best choice for both of you.
If you can go to bed at night, put your head on the pillow and tell yourself in all honesty that you have done the best that you can do for both of you...that is all anyone, including you, can ask of yourself.
Sleep well.

All the things that worry your spouse - in my Musm case it was keys, shopping, cooking, washing are removed and thus - in my experience her life becomes more enjoyable. Able to concentrate on things she enjoys and as the other contributor says making friends and getting to know her way around. 7 months in she is so happy, hard as it was in the beginning to make the decision, it has been the best result we could have imagined.

Memory care in a good facility is very expensive. I have the family name on the room list and have refused to have my wife move in four times now as a room has bcome available. It is very difficult to move ones loved one away without feeling much guilt. But I know the time is approaching very fast. This morning, as in most mornings and the middle of the night, my wife awoke me by punching my back and ribs and wanting to know who I was. Then she rolls over and back to sleep and doesn't remember any of it. At one time during the night she ask me where XXX,me, was and I told her he would be back shortly. That seemed to satisfy her for the time being. A new world every day as I am the only one to care for her. But, back to your question.. I am finding it very hard to to make the moving decision. Perhaps a little time....We have been married for sixty two years and that does make it more difficult.

I'm in the same position. My husband cannot remember 5 minutes ago and barely remembers me, but he knows his surroundings!

One can be cognizant and still forget to take their meds or how to prepare meals, to wash themselves and wash and change clothes. These are things I count on the memory care staff to help my friend with--and they do a marvelous job. They also provide group activities that stimulate memories, which he chooses not to participate in. He is proud and doesn't like games or to be found lacking. But he is happy--and cared for. This is what I want for him.