Aunt is POA. Can she legally keep my mother from seeing us?

Did your Mom really appoint Aunt as POA? Mom has to revoke the old POA before a new one takes over. The Police are wrong. A POA only comes into effect when the person can no longer make informed decisions. Call ur Office of Aging to see if they can do a well check.

I just want someone to check on my mother's care and get her hospice. That's it nothing more or less.

Thank you and yes I believe that she is letting my mother suffer so that she can have that income. Thank you for the link

Thank you and yes I believe that she is letting my mother suffer so that she can have that income. Thank you for the link

Alley. Look at this from your aunt's point of view.

For *very* *good* *reasons*, I'm not disputing that for a moment, you and your sister arranged for your challenging mother to move to your aunt's state and then in due course to move in with your aunt. Your mother was an alcoholic. She later developed cancer. She is now dying. And your aunt has been coping with her for YEARS.

Then you and your sister arrive. You've trusted your aunt with your mother's care for all this time, but all of a sudden you know better what your mother's needs are. You've been happy for your aunt to take responsibility for managing your mother's money, but all of a sudden you don't trust her to account for the funeral expenses (which, by the way, could quite possibly include a lot more than the funeral home's fee on its own).

I'm sure without meaning to, but I wouldn't be surprised if you have deeply hurt and offended this woman who, let's not forget, is still in the midst of caring for a dying woman and worrying about her own future. Do take into account quite how much stress she has been under, and still is, and for how long.

That does not mean it is not your place to be concerned about your mother's immediate welfare needs. Of course you have every right to raise questions. I'd call APS and make sure that they understand it is the immediate issues you are asking them to assess. The police involvement and attitude should be quite straightforward to explain away, if the point even comes up at all: their concern in that moment was to keep the peace and remove people who had no business to be there against your aunt's wishes from your aunt's house. Their off-the-cuff statement about the POA was no doubt just expedient for those purposes - they wanted you out and were throwing any reasons at you that came to mind.

There is one more important point to take into account when you talk to APS, and that is I wouldn't be too certain about asserting your mother's soundness of mind. You say that she now has brain metastases. I'm afraid these can develop extremely rapidly and may affect all aspects of her mental functioning. That doesn't mean she shouldn't be listened to, but it does mean that you can't assume she is legally competent.

Again, I am so sorry for what you and your sister and your whole family must have been through and are still going through. I hope APS will be able to advise you and do something to set your mind at rest.

So could we surmise that your aunt might be concerned about losing your moms income to the degree that she is wanting to keep your mom alive and perhaps believing the hospice care would speed up her demise?
Perhaps you could call the Area Agency on Aging in her state and ask for direction.
Here is a link for Northern Idaho that might get you started.
aaani dot org if it gets deleted.

http://aaani.org

I am not in contact with any of them since she called the police. She lied to them and it just floored me and my sister. My mother has paid for everything my Aunt is acting crazy about this and she knew we were coming because my mother called us and so did my cousin and told us she was at the end so we paid a lot of money to get there only to be treated like dirt. She wants me and my sister to pay her not the funeral home and the amount was so much higher from her. The Boise funeral home even sent my sister the amount but yet my Aunt is angry. We said we would pay had everything settled the funeral home just needed her to sign as the POA and she blew up and never took it up there.

She has cancer and is in the last stage it has moved to her brain now. My mother was an alcoholic and me and my sister have autistic children and we finally sent our mother out to Idaho. She and my Aunt have lived together for years after my Aunts husband died. My mother pays her monthly and now she says she will lose her house without my mother's payment. I don't want money or to even see my Mother again it was way to tramaic but I do want to make sure my Aunt is making proper decisions and calls in hospice. My mother is in great pain and needs morphine

Thanks for your message. I'm so sorry this is happening in your family.

Only a guess, but it looks to me like you and your sister have inadvertently trodden on an emotional landmine.

Your mother has been ill. You and your sister, perfectly naturally, moved away some time ago to lead your lives (good! That's what healthily brought-up people do!). But meanwhile, your aunt has been taking care of your mother. Maybe for quite a long time? Maybe bottling up her feelings about what you and your sister "ought" to have been doing?

Then you turn up at the door and your aunt explodes.

Don't give up, but just press pause for a second and let's have a think about what to do. Are you still in contact with your cousin?

If your mother really is in her right mind then your aunt cannot overrule her wishes. But that doesn't mean it would necessarily have been a good idea to move your mother. If you believe that your mother is in need of hospice care, then I guess that the last thing she needs is either a stand-up fight between her loved ones or being physically moved in the middle of winter.

Could you please just explain why your aunt comes to be your mother's primary caregiver and why your mother is in need of hospice care?

I'm very sorry for what sounds like an incredibly distressing situation for all of you.

So your mother is dangerously ill. Your aunt is ?at your mother's home? caring for her? You and your sister have found yourself in conflict with your aunt over a) your mother's care needs and b) perhaps as a sort of proxy issue, funeral arrangements. And the current state of play is that your aunt is turning you away at the front door, so that you and your sister can't get in to visit your mother and are now worried about her care.

Did your aunt actually say "I will not have hospice here"; or did she just refuse to tell you what is happening at all?

Can I also just ask when all this blew up?

All I want is for someone to investigate and make sure my Aunt is truly acting on my mother's behalf. My mother begged me and my sister to take her with us but the police said since my Aunt had POA we couldn't. Even though my mother is of her right mind.

Why won't my Aunt call Hospice? That is what my mother needs and she is refusing what can me and my sister do?

Because she asked us to pay her directly for the funeral and we said no that we were going to pay the funeral home directly. It is crazy the situation and I wouldn't believe it but I lived it.

Not if your mother wants to see you, no.

Why would your aunt want to stop you and your sister visiting your mother?