Dementia is a tragic disease for all concerned. And it is a very complex disease to deal with. It cannot be cured but it can be treated. Possibly this man could be less belligerent with appropriate treatment. Appropriate treatment requires professional medical personnel, with training and experience, and even they don't always get it right. This is not a role for a sweetheart or loved one.
I agree that you may have to sever all ties. Your number one priority must be your own safety. Do what you have to do to esdure that. Change the lock on your door if he has a key.
If you still care about the man he used to be, and you want to play good Samaritan to a very sick person, you might also try getting him some help. I say "try" because you really have no legal leverage and there may be nothing you can do. If you try and it doesn't work out, you are Not allowed to have guilt feelings! Do what you can and move on.
First, does he have local family? A brother? An aunt he is close to? Are they aware of his dementia diagnosis? Are they aware of his abuse? Do they know you broke up with him? If there are caring family members around bring them up to date. Point out that you are no longer going to be looking out for him.
If family isn't available, I think I'd contact APS. Adult Protective Services has the job of protecting vulnerable adults from exploitation and damage. Having dementia makes this man vulnerable, no matter what his age is. They would investigate to see if he is a danger to himself or others. Be very clear that you have no responsibilities for him; you just want to see him get help. If he won't cooperate they may not be able to do anything, but at least you would have tried.
Keep in touch here. We want to here that you are safe.
Go no contact. Call the police if he won't leave you alone. Don't open the door for him. Get a protective order. Do what it takes. If he is put in prison, he will be safe and sound.
Trill, if the boyfriend is an "ex" there is no need for you to still continue to be in his life. Let his family know that you can no longer take care of him due to physical abuse.
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I agree that you may have to sever all ties. Your number one priority must be your own safety. Do what you have to do to esdure that. Change the lock on your door if he has a key.
If you still care about the man he used to be, and you want to play good Samaritan to a very sick person, you might also try getting him some help. I say "try" because you really have no legal leverage and there may be nothing you can do. If you try and it doesn't work out, you are Not allowed to have guilt feelings! Do what you can and move on.
First, does he have local family? A brother? An aunt he is close to? Are they aware of his dementia diagnosis? Are they aware of his abuse? Do they know you broke up with him? If there are caring family members around bring them up to date. Point out that you are no longer going to be looking out for him.
If family isn't available, I think I'd contact APS. Adult Protective Services has the job of protecting vulnerable adults from exploitation and damage. Having dementia makes this man vulnerable, no matter what his age is. They would investigate to see if he is a danger to himself or others. Be very clear that you have no responsibilities for him; you just want to see him get help. If he won't cooperate they may not be able to do anything, but at least you would have tried.
Keep in touch here. We want to here that you are safe.
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