I’m caring for a lady who has dementia, cancer, and is also incontinent. She becomes extremely nasty about changing her pull up. Any suggestions?

Grammy’s right. I forgot to mention that when mom went to the hospital once the nurse told me she “wasn’t very cleandown there”. Apparently, unless they had an accident, the residents of her facility would be in charge of bathing their private parts themselves. The nurse told me that provided an awesome breeding ground for bacteria that would cause UTIs and since Mom was in the ER for a UTI trying to attack the nurses, what she said made great sense.

We call it a "pad." As women we have worn one pad or another much of our lives. With my mom, I would just matter of fact say, let's go to the restroom. I could simply talk her through the process, and assist as needed. I would use a Peri bottle with warm water to rinse her area. I feel this helped prevent UTIs. Be sure to dry the area before pulling up the pad.

As the disease progressed, I found that using the bedside commode was easier...I had not room to work. When she became truly incontinent, I took the bucket off and simply set in under the commode. If she happened to go while on the commode, it had a place to fall ;-). Having the bucket unattached allowed me to clean the important areas from below. I used a Peri bottle with warm water and baby wipes.

I found the pullups worked best until we started changing mom in bed...then we switched to the briefs with tabs.

Teepa Snow has some videos on toileting...you might watch those. Good luck. .this is a challenging part of caregiving.

Lisa,I had same experience several time on my business as caregiver, I always do same approach to everyone who has dementia or needs other to care for everyday's routine. Actually given order like Military kind of a firm approach... because almost all of demented person thinks " I know how to care myself" but they DO NOT. And don't give in. After bathe, changed soiled clothes or diaper then gave her BIG HUG and tell her "I LOVE YOU". Good Luck!!!

Lisa, if she is wearing a true “pull-up”, the ones that look like underwear, try the “diaper” ones with the tabs. There are some excellent videos on YouTube about how to put them on your patient. My husband is about 350 pounds and cannot stand. Putting the true pull-ups on him is nearly impossible. They rip and bunch up. The diapers are not perfect, but they’re faster and easier than the pull-ups.

A nurse once told me they have to be careful not to refer to them as “diapers”because it could be insulting to an adult, especially one who has cognitive issues. They refer to them as “underwear” to the patient.

I had the exact same problem with grandma. She would remove the old diaper by herself but wouldn't put on a new one or let me put one on for her. So then, I waied for her to be on the commode and then run in and put a new diaper on. At first, she would verbally object but physically allow for it. Now she's just used to it and let's me change her diaper. I can even ask her to get on the commode when I smell a diaper change is warranted and she does it. Miraculously I even get the occasional "thank you".

Lisa, I am moving your question to the front of the list to see if there are any caregivers would can help you with your question.