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saknaus123 Asked January 2018

Financial abuse by family member. Any advice?

My mother 87 yrs old and a Swiss citizen lives in Namibia and displays clear signs of dementia. My brother has moved into her house and cooks for her on a daily basis, he has also convinced her to give him POA of her Postal account and he has withdrawn $ 35000 in 6 months. He refuses to account for the money and says hes done so for his mother. A MMSE by a GP reported that all is fine with her even though the practitioner prompted my mother for every needed answer...My brother has also opened a bank account for/with her and we now fear that she will transfer large amounts of money from Switzerland to her account in Namibia. He has now hired opposing counsel and we know that mother has no clue what this is all about. Mother now refuses to see me and my sister, has cut ties with her brother in Germany and denies that she has given my brother proxy signature for her account. According to a Postal bank manager's interview with my mother reported to us that she is aware of the POA and that she's comfortable with the arrangement. Our attorneys seem to try at every corner to convince us that our mother may not have a problem at all and that legal remedies will be hard to come by. We are frustrated and angry beyond belief that even the bank in Switzerland sees no reason to act. The entire estate is in jeopardy incl. real estate in Namibia... Helpless and frustrated in Switzerland

saknaus123 Jan 2018
cmagnum
He has no curatorship/guardianship and if he has received account proxy signature under false pretense from my mother that surely will be questionable. Namibian Postal account manager have voiced concerns about the heavy withdrawal of money since last August, completely out of the ordinary. She had 1 million Namibia $ in a fixed income account and had gotten almost 6000 a month in interest; now that account has been depleted to N$650'000 and interest payments have declined accordingly...and my brother doesn't want to tell us what's happening? That surely does not sound right.

Countrymouse Jan 2018
Worth noting those things about your brother - you don't think it might have been worth mentioning them in the first place?

If your mother can hire a cleaning lady, I'm sure she can also hire a cook. Isn't it possible that she is more anxious to keep her son close by, especially if he has always been a worry to her?

In any case, I am very glad to hear that you and your sister are going out there to investigate, and hope that it results in better, safer arrangements for everyone. Best of luck, please let us know how you get on.

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saknaus123 Jan 2018
I appreciate comments. I am flying with sister to Namibia this Tuesday, my brother communicated just fine with me and my sister and had agreed to provide expense accounting but has dodged to send any and one week ago he completely reversed his tune because we insisted and now says he will do as he pleases. $ 35'000 is way too much money he has drawn, no mortgage, little maintenance and food and cleaning lady. Cost of living in Namibia is about 35% in comparison to the US. I need to apologise for what? It's worth noting that my brother has a lifelong history of being destitute, being a habitual liar and always making questionable investments with other people's money and has currently zero income but drives a big car and on top of it he is in poor health and needs funds for his entire living and medical expenses . My mother will sign any paper at this point because she's in fear of not having him around for cooking meals. My sister had visited last August and my mother insisted for almost an hour that she does not know who she is. Me and my sister are more than willing to properly care for her . Mother has consistently wanted us to visit her and since a week she says we are no more welcome...
My brother was at the GP office with my mother and reported to me that she was prompted with the answers...He had also agreed at an attorney's office to file for a curator bonis. So why the change of mind now?

notrydoyoda Jan 2018
I remember seeing this same question several days ago. As POA, your brother does not have to explain anything to you about your mother's finances. 

Countrymouse Jan 2018
Without wishing to sound prejudiced, I'm not that astonished that dementia diagnostic procedures aren't cutting-edge in Namibia. It's probably a bit like something out of Dr Finlay's Casebook - a paternalistic model, more interested in the patient's immediate apparent happiness than ethical best practice. Beautiful country. Fine rugby team. Not necessarily a world class centre of dementia care...

I have no idea what typical living and care expenses might be. Is $35K over six months definitely excessive? How big is the house, how much is its upkeep, what has your mother's typical spending pattern been over, say, the last ten years?

If your brother wanted to save trouble, he would provide accounts, I agree. But on its own the fact that he has taken offence at your demand for transparency and refused to play ball does not mean that he has misappropriated or misused the money, and more particularly so since you don't have an automatic right to information about your mother's finances - not unless she gave you that authority or you have clear evidence of abuse.

Just curious, going back a bit. How do you know that the GP prompted your mother?

And more to the point, what do you propose for your mother's care? Are you volunteering?

I can understand that you are frustrated. But how are you helpless? Get on a plane, go and apologise, and start again.

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