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ArtMom58 Asked January 2018

How forceful should I be?

My mother has dementia -- major paranoia. She will not let me in her home anymore--she thinks I'm stealing from her. She has had care-givers (that I arranged for behind the scenes) in her home for about two weeks and she trusts them. Today they are taking her to get a doctor's assessment (if they can get her to leave the house!). My mother doesn't know I'm involved, but I will meet with the doctor afterwards to discuss the assessment. While she is seeing the doctor this would give me the opportunity to go into her home and take the legal documents (POA, financial, etc) that I need to move forward with a care plan. The care givers say I should NOT enter the house and take her things, that she would lose trust in them and make their jobs harder, if not impossible. I'm between a rock and a hard place. I need the legal documents. Any advice?

Sendhelp Jan 2018
Are there other siblings?

Sunnygirl1 Jan 2018
You will need originals to use. I don't think the caregivers realize that she could change her mind and fire them at any time. You can't reason or leave it up to a person with dementia to make sound decisions. I hope things work out well for you.

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Isthisrealyreal Jan 2018
Some documents you will need the original, is mom able to tell the difference? If not leave her the copies and save yourself loads of headaches in the future. Everything I have done for my dad, bank , skilled nursing, AL all wanted to see the original. Good luck and hugs to you during this difficult journey.

MountainMoose Jan 2018
I've snapped quick photographs of Mom's paper with my cell phone some years ago so I could become familiar with her will and other documents. If you want hard copies and have a library or place that prints copies nearby perhaps you can grab the documents and get copies printed out, then rush them back.

blannie Jan 2018
I was going to say the same thing - take them and make copies and return them. Good luck and keep us posted.

Countrymouse Jan 2018
Got time to take copies?

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