I am sorry for your loss, but I agree with not second-guessing the decision.
Hospice put my mom on oxygen, but she kept taking the cannula off (even when she was pretty much out of it) so maybe this person was uncomfortable with it on.
I'm a bit confused. The oxygen was not for life support -- it was just "extra." So taking it off presumably did not contribute to his dying.
Having to make life and death decisions, or any decisions really at the time of death, is very, very stressful. Each of us does the best we can. I hope you will keep your opinion to yourself, as far as family goes. Come here to vent and explain what you would have done differently. There is absolutely no way to go back and change the decision, so why punish an already-stressed out relative for doing their best?
Death pretty much comes when it will come. It doesn't often consult the convenience of family or friends. I am very sorry you didn't get one last visit in. Our father died while one of my sisters was on an airplane to see him. She would have liked that last visit, too.
I understand your distress at not having seen him. I don't understand why you are blaming that on the decision to remove "extra" oxygen.
In any case, please accept my condolences at your loss.
Well it’s a sad sad thing to have to read. My condolences on the loss of your loved one. No matter how long they have lived and how dire the circumstances it is still a loss. At the end there is never enough time. I wish I had the words to make it better. Your intentions were good. Hold onto your love. Let the hard feelings go. They won’t help.
There are a lot of inappropriate things people say, or write on the internet. If the family member was argumentative on Facebook talking about the death of another human being, it’s just unbelievablely tacky. I’d block them.
Tonya, I am so sorry for your loss and the discomfort you are feeling about someone else decision to remove oxygen from a dying patient Oxygen for many people is used as a comfort measure but for others such as those with lung cancer it is essential. Your loved one was clearly at the end of life and had expressed wishes not to be kept alive artificially. The person who made the decision I am assuming had the legal right to do so, and the patient might have felt uncomfortable with the tubes in his nose so if it was not essential then there would be no harm in removing it although it is usually left on. The patient was clearly in the last stages of the dying process as they passed so soon so keeping it on would not have prolonged the life. it is sad that you were not able to visit and make your good byes so try and focus on the good times you have with your loved one. It seems very insensitive to post that comment on Facebook but not knowing the family dynamics involved it is not fair for an outsider to comment on that
I thought so too! She posted to FB that if anyone disagreed with her decisions,to keep their opinions to themselves.i was suppose to see him again that very evening and a couplre more were..we found out her discsion via FB 😓
What were the patients wishes? We knew my dads wishes and the palliative care nurse verified it with him. When he was taken off the machine it took at least 10 minutes before he passed. He never wanted to live hooked up to a machine. It was the hardest thing we could possibly go through. We did it because we loved him. I hope if I'm ever in that situation someone will love me enough to let me go.
They were given 3 days to a week.But a family memebef said they decided to take them off their oxygene.didnt think that would be the right thing to do do..he wasnt even prounoced dead til 6 minutes lter
12 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Hospice put my mom on oxygen, but she kept taking the cannula off (even when she was pretty much out of it) so maybe this person was uncomfortable with it on.
Having to make life and death decisions, or any decisions really at the time of death, is very, very stressful. Each of us does the best we can. I hope you will keep your opinion to yourself, as far as family goes. Come here to vent and explain what you would have done differently. There is absolutely no way to go back and change the decision, so why punish an already-stressed out relative for doing their best?
Death pretty much comes when it will come. It doesn't often consult the convenience of family or friends. I am very sorry you didn't get one last visit in. Our father died while one of my sisters was on an airplane to see him. She would have liked that last visit, too.
I understand your distress at not having seen him. I don't understand why you are blaming that on the decision to remove "extra" oxygen.
In any case, please accept my condolences at your loss.
ADVERTISEMENT
Your intentions were good. Hold onto your love. Let the hard feelings go. They won’t help.
it is sad that you were not able to visit and make your good byes so try and focus on the good times you have with your loved one. It seems very insensitive to post that comment on Facebook but not knowing the family dynamics involved it is not fair for an outsider to comment on that