Any advice on end stage care?

Please seek out your local Area Agencies on Aging - great first responders to help you will questions, offer referrals, get you senior companions to take care of mom while you take care of YOU. As my mom entered Hospice Care, the evaluation and her care was completely covered by Medicare. As she transitioned, they provided us on updates of what to expect and what to look for. They were not there the morning that mom passed unfortunately..a time I could have used them the most.

Karlton Residential Care Center. Loving care with dignity.

Your very life may depend on your getting lots and lots of help. I had an army but after 3 years it was killing me. I’m also in Orange Co and a dementia facility in Anaheim saved my life and took better care of my Mom (and me) than I ever could have imagined. Not sure if your Mom has dementia. Prayers for you and your Mom.

Hbstace26: Please seek out help in a variety of ways, i.e. Visiting Nurse Association for one. What is a given is that one woman CANNOT do the job alone. You need respite, else you will break.

Have you tried RESPITE in your area? It doesn't go by income and will give you a list of names to help you get relief at least a couple hours of the day.

I just entered my mother into Hospice Care. It has made all the difference in the world. They not only support your parent, but take the emotional stress off of providing care for my mom. They also provide social services and counseling for family members dealing with end stage care. My mom's Hospice Care is all covered by Medicare and can be provided for both in skilled nursing homes and at home. Contact Hospice in your area and they can advise you how to make this happen. Within just two days there started providing services after I applied. Hang in there. It is one of the hardest things to do in life but I found Hospice Care to be life saving.

I am in the OC also. What do you mean by end-stage? Does she have health issues other than dementia? MediCal in the OC is essentially out of money and most facilities
won't accept it. Tell me more and hopefully I can share my experiences with my sister.

If your mother is on Medicare, that should help pay for Hospice, and the hospice my husband is on has volunteers. I am in Illinois, but I daresay that CA might have the same situation. You may also try Catholic Charities, although it was a disaster for us, it has worked well for some. All the suggestions about Hospice are good ones. Ours is great, and I have been happy with their care of my husband. The hospice he is on is called JourneyCare. Not sure if they are just local or national.

Hospice will be a great help.
You will get help a few times a week with a CNA that will come in and help bathe and dress. Some do LIGHT cleaning and maybe help fix a meal.
You will also get the services of a Social Worker that may help with other ideas.
Most Hospice organizations have volunteers that will come and sit with your Mom while you run out and do some errands. They can not do any "hands on care" No changing, dressing or feeding.
You will also get supplies and equipment if it is needed.
They will also provide medications (related to the "life limiting condition) and they, at least in my case, were delivered to the door the day they were ordered.
Through Hospice I got a Broda Chair, wheelchair, Hospital bed with airflow mattress. When we had to go to a Sit to Stand I got that then later we had to go with a Hoyer lift.
Also check with Senior centers in your area or if you are a member of a church or other religious affiliation many have volunteer groups that will help out.
You might also want to look into Salvation Army or Meals on Wheels to help defer food costs.

Do you have a local senior center that provides services, such as, basic household cleaning, and basic care? We have that here.

Before you sign her up for hospice, visit the Hospice Patients Alliance for information on finding a good one and also for guidence during services. In my opinion, the good ones are few and far between.

There are other options besides hospice, such as home health.

hospicepatients.org

Call all of the hospice services in your area and ask what services they provide. Then call your Mom's doctor and ask for a script for a hospice evaluation and hand it over to the service that provides the most help -- of use to you. You would be amazed at what a calming effect this can provide you. In addition, use Mom's income to provide additional aides during her 'worst' time of day. and/or an occasional overnight shift so you can get a full night's sleep. Alternatively, book an aide for a day and go to a day spa yourself and try to forget it all. No one can do this for 3 years straight. Get some help now.

Have you looked into setting up a Miller Trust to qualify her for Medi-cal?

Do you have Hospice services?