Help with new AL; my parents leave the room for meals but nothing else.

Clean the room - take out the trash and change the bed linen while they eat.

All of your responses are spot on. I am not nearby because I am with a sister-in-law who is under hospice care.

Before dad moved to AL he was nearly dead and spent time at hospital and rehab. My parents were apart for 3 weeks and I stayed with her when I was replaced by my daughter with sil.

Mom does have incontinence and refuses showers and baths. Dad does not like his oxygen tank. At 91 and 88 I just want them safe. Will let go of activities for now until I return.

My siblings are great with all of this. Each is trying to help them make it work. Possible care conference is on the horizon I heard.
Thanks again

DiDi

Are you close enough to visit and see that all is well in their rooms? I know from speaking with someone who works at an AL that sometimes refusing to allow housekeeping in can be a red flag that there is something they are trying to hide (often incontinence difficulties).

💜Veronica91, great post!

is it possible that they refuse the cleaning and laundry service because it upsets mom having people come into their room and vacuum and touch her things and generally tidy up..
How do they get their laundry done now?
Agree with FF, let them be as far as activities are concerned. they obviously enjoy going to the dining room to eat so leave it at that. I totally sympathize I would get mad if people tried to get me involved in activities and generally jolly me along. I might go to a class if it was something that interested in and i had the energy but if it involved knitting dish cloths or embroidering plastic mug coasters. NO THANK YOU. Maybe if i live to be 90 ( Only 11 more years to go)) i won't fight it and keep dropping stiches and waiting while the nice activities directer comes over and sorts me out. I can be a brat all day. i hope nobody steals my computer.

Didiblue52, at your parent's ages, you need to let them do what they want when it comes to activities. My Dad was in a really great Independent Living and Assisted Living senior facility, and he was happy as a clam watching TV during the day, reading or napping. He did go to physical therapy which he really liked.  And, of course, meals in the main dining room with his table-mates.

As for activities, nope, unless it was music related. Dad was in his 90's, and his independence had narrowed way down, thus he needed to have some choices that he could make on his own.

I can't understand why your parents are refusing cleaning and laundry? Aren't those items part of their monthly rent, or do they need to pay extra?

Do you live near the AL? You may have to intercede by finding out what time activities are and accompanying them to it. AND with any luck, you can arrange to have the room cleaned at the same time. My MIL was at an AL for 5 years and a continuing care/independent living place for 10 years before that. She NEVER attended ANYTHING. Good luck