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E
ed812day Asked February 2018

How do I deal with my wife who has dementia, who appears angry most of the time after taking a nap?

JoAnn29 Feb 2018
This is normal. She wakes up and probably has no idea where she is. Moms dreams and TV started being part of her reality. Does ur wife have heart problems. My Dad didn't have Dementia but was disoriented for about a half hour after he awoke. Part of his problem was a blocked neck artery. Not enough oxygen getting to the brain.

OldSailor Feb 2018
What about some sort of aroma type of therapy. Like fresh brewed coffee or or a favoite food cooking?
Just a stab in the dark.

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Shane1124 Feb 2018
Try leaving her alone to wake up. Try not to deluge her with questions, etc. I am grumpy after a nap and my husband just leaves me be until it passes.

Sendhelp Feb 2018
Happy Birthday, Ed.

FarmJelly Feb 2018
I was hoping someone more knowledgeable than I am would answer you, but since no one has, I’ll offer my very unscientific crackpot theory. Lol!!!

I have the same problem your wife may be experiencing. If you google “angry after nap” or “grumpy after nap,” you’ll find that many other people also have this problem. My son, now age 17, was an AWFUL napper as a toddler!! He would take a great nap, but it took what felt like hours to “recover” from it. I don’t feel refreshed after a 20 minute nap. If I nap, I NAP. I’m down for 2 hours, then I’m useless the rest of the day. My brain feels foggy, and my body just won’t move. Some call this “sleep inertia.” With a household to run and kids going in all directions, I finally decided about 5 years ago to stop taking naps because they were more debilitating than they were refreshing.

Researchers theorize that grumpy napping may have something to do with where you are in the sleep cycle when you awaken — deep vs light sleeping. People with dementia often suffer from disordered sleep patterns, so it kind of makes sense that your wife might be affected by naps in the same way.

My solution for my own napping problem has been to stop taking naps. This is hardly an option for your wife, as I would imagine even greater fights trying to keep her awake. Waking up from a nap might be disorienting for your wife. Add that to a brain that is already struggling to make sense of her world, your wife may find this too overwhelming. She may be more scared than angry.

Try creating a comforting wake-up routine. Perhaps if that began to feel familiar it would lessen her fear/anger?? It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just do something that you know your wife enjoys: play familiar soft music, open the curtains for some sunshine, give her hands and arms a light massage with her favorite scented lotion, get her blood sugar up with a warm cup of tea and a cookie, get her talking about “happier times” by looking at old photos together, etc. Alternately, she may just want to be left alone for a while.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2018
What time does she get up from her nap? Is it late afternoon? Could this be "sundowning"? Have you consulted the doctor who is following her dementia about this?

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