Mom refuses to apply for public aid as recommended by social worker at rehab. Father needs long term care- how do we get around this?

The social worker should be the one who helps you with the Medicaid application. As Barb said, applying for Medicaid where there is a spouse and a nursing home involved is complicated. When I had to do this for my dad at his NH the social worker got me started and then I went to the Medicaid office and was assigned a caseworker who walked me through the application process. She told me what documents I'd need for the application and I was able to call her to check on the status of my dad's application. It took a really, really, really long time and my dad died before Medicaid accepted him but they did pay retroactively so we didn't have any problems.

Start with the social worker who suggested you apply.

Your best bet is to find your mom a CERTIFIED eldercare attorney who specializes in Medicaid applications. Applying for Medicaid for nursing home care when there is a spouse who remains home is complicated.

Mom may be scared that if she gets Medicaid for dad she'll lose her home. Assure her that she won't. There are a lot of scare stories out there. Help find her an attorney and reassure her that this is going to be okay.

Are you saying that your Mother does not want to apply for Medicaid for your Father? Does she have the funds to pay the Nursing Home costs? Those are the only two options if your Father definitely has to have long term care. Please give us a few more details, thanks.