MIL sick and in pain all the time. Any advice?

I would talk to a pharmacist about the medications she's on to see if a stomachache is a known side effect. She may really be feeling pain or discomfort. If she's lonely, that pain will be magnified because that's all she's got to focus on.

My MIL has lived in the AL for 2.5 years now and has not done many of the activities yet and she is doing less now. I could check and see what is going on the weekend. Do most people with dementia sick in am and pm think they are good to do anything. She thinks she is very athletic she does not walk far anymore she used to walk maybe 2 miles or less a day. She says she was athletic she played golf 3 times a week. maybe that is athletic to some people. She does not have sensitivity to aspirin maybe I will see about a laxative. She does not eat much.

Miramax was too harsh for my Mom. Does MIL have a sensitivity to aspirin? A lot of pain meds have it. My Mom got sick on it. Also causes stomach ulcers.

Perhaps MIL needs a little stool softener once a week . She may be constipated I find a little MiraLAX goes into any liquid, no taste helps keep the bowels moving . if she’s constipated and she knows it hurts to push she’ll hold no that fecal matter inside . Have the nurse check once a week to give you a report to see how her bowels are responding also mother-in-law don’t want to do activities . Avoid going visit for week let her get acclimated to the activities there ,without a visit tell the nurse to take her to the activity areas especially the music area eventually mother will go to the music area because music is therapy for all of us. Adjustment for us all .

My spouse is bothered by her negativity as well. He still goes on the weekends. We do not generally visit during the week. Occasionally I do go during the week if needed. She has been diagnosed with dementia and she is on pain meds that are in blister packs. We have not taken her to the activities that they have for a while I am not sure she would go. I may see what activities there are and ask her. Thanks.

Negative people are in a struggle of their own. Continue to visit, only as jeanne said do it around activity, maybe take her to a church service and she might meet church members that would visit her. Best wishes! May God bless you through your struggle.

helpwithmil, as many of us know from sad personal experience, just because the doctors can't find the cause does not mean you are not in pain! She is taking pain meds? Prescribed by a doctor?

Has she been diagnosed with dementia? That is really difficult to fake consistently over long periods of time.

Who has medical POA for MIL?

As for visiting, oh my yes! Visiting negative people can be extremely stressful. Can your spouse visit her without getting as distressed?

Does your MIL participate in ALF activities? That can at least partially address the loneliness problem. Time some of your visits to been when there are activities and then attend them with her. The goal would be for her to go to them on her own eventually. But even if going with her doesn't achieve that, I'd think she wouldn't be able to be so negative to you in a group setting.

Could you and spouse each visit twice a week? That would be cutting down for you, but wouldn't be a decrease for MIL.

If spouse is less bothered by the negativity. how about only going with them once a week, and they can do the rest of the visits solo.

Or, you can just plainly cut back on the number of visits you make.