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Alexandra63 Asked February 2018

Anyone know how to deal with someone so resistant to any help or advise?

Sometimes even the Geriatric Doctor can not help. I took my narcissistic pre dementia mother a couple of weeks ago. He wants to take her license away (and we are all grateful for that!) The problem is once she heard that, she decided he was a quack and will not do a single thing he wants her to do...Changed her meds, she says I looked it up and it doesn't exist, he gave me a made up medication, driving class? She told him yes, she got home and said screw him it is too expensive, I will drive until I die. Same story with recommended exercise classes, too expensive...Except yesterday she went to the mall to go clothes shopping (telling me of course her new meds make her so dizzy she can not walk and had to sit every 5 feet), that she has money for. He set up a CAT san, she said she won't go, she had one, she just can not remember when HAHA And on and on, so I will call her regular doctor and tell him he needs to follow up, and perhaps I should call the transportation ministry? I do not know how to get her car away from her without getting killed by her, so anyone know how to deal with someone so resistant to any help or advise...and remember she is a full blown narcissist, so she wants us to butt out, BUT be at her beck and call at all times. ANd when you show up, its a fight and I get called a myriad of names.... This is gonna be a long hard journey...

Isthisrealyreal Feb 2018
Alexandra, this is my story with my dad. I had to put him at arms length. He is so mad at me but, I can not let him destroy me with himself. Please let me know if you find anything that works long term.

God bless you on this difficult journey.

Tothill Feb 2018
Disable the car. Depending on the type of car and her knowledge of how cars run, it maybe as simple as disconnecting the battery. Other wise disconnecting the starter, removing the rotor are other options. That will stop her from driving while you sort out the other stuff.

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JoAnn29 Feb 2018
Make sure he calls the DMV. They will send a letter telling her her license has been revoked. In NJ you mail it back. Not sure how they follow up if u don't. If this gets done take her keys and car away. Don't leave it where she has excess. If she won't comply, call the police and ask if an officer can come and take the keys away.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2018
Alexandra, the doctor made these orders. Make sure that the doctor understands that you are stepping away due to your mom's abuse. And that you can in no way be responsible for HER actions.

Don't show up to take abuse. You can only be a doormat if you show up and lie down.

cwillie Feb 2018
In my opinion if a doctor feels a licence should be pulled they should take the steps to ensure it gets done, I know that after a seizure my brother's neurologist had no problem contacting MTO and brother's licence was yanked with frightening swift efficiency.

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