How can I convince my husband to wear disposable underwear?

I want to thank every person that gave me his/her advice. All the suggestions are worth considering, especially the ones about finding another style or brand of disposable underwear. Thank you so much.

I want to thank every person that gave me his/her advice. All the suggestions are worth considering, especially the ones about finding another style or brand of disposable underwear. Thank you so much.

I get my dad the member mark brand from Sam's club, he of course was not having a problem so no need for that. Ugh. Skilled nursing put him in adult diapers, no discussions. This helped me tremendously as I could say you have choices, diaper type with tabs or the pull up brief kind. I always call them briefs, just like regular underwear. We tried a lot of different brands and even the expensive ones had plastic that rubbed. So when I found Sam's brand for half the cost, what can I loose, they have all the latest technology incorporated and they are soft around the legs and waist. I did not see absorbent choices only size. The only time you can tell he has one on is if it's full, the gel expands just like baby diapers.

needtowashhair has a good point, in that the absorbancy level is less important than comfort. The "absorbancy" factor is really about urine, but it doesn't make quite as much difference with solid or semi-solid waste. My mom uses the medium absorbancy fit-flex Depends, and seems quite happy with them.

It's kind of strange that the corporate world isn't as much "on" the issue of underwear for this problem, but seems wholly focused on bladder incontinence.  Seems to me there's probably a ton of money to be made from providing a reliable, comfortable product! 

This is how I did it with grandma. Instead of washing her regular underwear, I threw it away. Pretty soon, there was no longer any regular underwear. So I started giving her diapers. It was really touch and go there for a couple of years but now she's pretty much surrendered to the fact that that's the only thing she gets. Still there are issues. Sometimes she just doesn't wear any. Other times she will expertly rip out the absorbent pad and only wear the mesh lining that's left. This used to happen a lot. Now it's somewhat rare although it still happens.

It did help a lot with compliance when I switched from maxi absorbancy to moderate. I'm thinking about switching even further down to minimal since she's still pretty much continent with only the occasional accident.

I would take all the other underwear away (thats what I did for mom) and fill her drawers only with disposables. My FIL had the same problem and that is what my MIL did. Also, she made sure that there were large pads under sheets, etc. for bedtime.

She also really managed his diet so that he didn't overeat, greasy/fatty foods; had fiber, yogurt, etc. and got him on a schedule so that accidents were less frequent or at least less explosive since he would go more regularly before they left the house.

THe only other option is to get additional help for husband in the house to care for husband and manage his hygiene. Maybe you just do so at night but he gets care all day.

Also if you're interested in the longer, washable boxer-brief style, this is one has no pad (which he could still wear in addition to the underwear), but claims to have leak-proof fabric and seams.

amazon.com/PROTECHDRY-Washable-Incontinence-Cotton-Underwear/dp/B00A3U11YG/ref=sr_1_60_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1519768530&sr=8-60&keywords=incontinence%2Bmen&th=1

Hey, I just found this on Amazon, too....it's a disposable boxer-brief for men, that includes a pad insert. The leg is shorter than the regular boxer-briefs, and I'm not sure if the pad is big enough for bowel movements, but this is a trial kit for a few dollars, so you could find out fairly cheaply. It claims to "sound, look and feel" like regular cotton underwear, which might be the thing you're looking for.

amazon.com/HASOCARE-Breathable-Incontinence-Underwear-Trial/dp/B072284ZTH/ref=sr_1_10_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1519768338&sr=8-10&keywords=incontinence+men

Here is a search on US Amazon for them....looks like there are some fairly long ones now.  You might need to sew the pouch closed, if he's leaking that way too....it looks like there might be a couple of styles with no opening, too.

amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=long+leg+boxer+brief

This is just a thought....I wonder if it would help to change the style of underwear to a boxer-brief? You know, the kind that come down the thigh like boxer shorts, but fit snug around the torso and legs? At least that might help keep the waste from dripping/oozing out the leg hole edges of the underwear, and it would still be "real" underwear that he could wear with a pad. I know you can get them fairly long (I think they're labelled "long leg boxer-briefs").  You'd still have to wash them of course.

I know with my mom, the biggest problem with fecal leaks has been where it comes out the edges of the leg hole. Fortunately I'm getting better at staying on top of changes, and she actually now prefers the Depends Fit-Flex to having a big bulky pad in her underwear.  She says they feel like real underwear. 

I agree that we women are more used to the indignities of "down there," from the time of our first menstrual period!

Try different brands, including Abena Abri-Flex pull ups.

HolidayEnd, oh my! what a terrible sickness! A member of my family had a very similar experience. Awful. I hope you are fully recovered and never have to face that again.

I do have experience wearing such products. They are not comfortable -- at least the ones I tried were not. But leaking out of cloth undies is not comfortable, either! If I had to wear these permanently I would experiment with various brands, styles, and sizes. But I would ultimately have to choose the least uncomfortable. Not using any would not be an option.

My husband preferred the security of disposables to the possibility of embarrassing accidents. Doesn't your husband get embarrassed at leaking? I wonder if having him do the cleanup would drive the point home?

Doglover35, you need to do what my Mom did after she got so tired of trying to get the stains off the rugs.

So the next time Dad had an "oops" she handed him the cleaning products and he had to do the cleaning. After a couple of times of Dad doing the cleanings, I noticed Mom had on her grocery list "Depends for Dad" :)

It’s a real hang up for many men because wearing Depends (etc...) is not masculine in the WWII - Korea - Vietnam war set who were raised to maintain masculinity and the societal mores of the times. I am unfamiliar with any specific disposable underpants designed for men. Probably online shopping at Amazon, Walmart, Target, Dollar General etc might have pants designed to fit male contours and not show beneath trousers.

I am just recovering from some of the most virulent diarrhea, along with vomiting, fever, dehydration, inability to eat anything heavier that clear liquids. I’ve been very sick and the doctor just says ‘stomach flu’. In dispair my husband picked up a new Depends called women’s panties, maximum absorption, no tapes but pull up and pull down, I’d say these Depends are comfortable and look like a little ‘girdle-ette’.

But women spend a good portion of our lives using products for their various bodily functions. I was thrilled my DH thought of this, I was delirious and so sick I couldn’t stand without help. The poor man mopped the floor repeatedly because I had no control at all. This was a first for me: my wearing of Depends and having no control over diarrhea and vomiting violently!!!

Let’s shop online and see what’s available. I certainly hope your DH has a temporary sickness and this isn’t something new and permanent!

Might be worth switching to a different brand, and seeing if they fit and feel better?

When I was browsing for incontinence care supplies I noticed many major brands offered free trial samples. Why not have a look and see what's available?

I haven't personally tried them so I can't comment on whether your husband is being a fuss-pot or not. But I must admit it used to cross my mind to think we should all be required to wear anything we recommend to others, just to see how we like it.

In my defence - I DID put myself in the Hoyer lift and swing myself around in it before I used it on mother. But that was actually quite fun, and pads are not of course...

It seems to me it's time for him to be in a facility.

Other posters with more experience might have better suggestions.