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BarbaraASO Asked February 2018

Conservatorship; why is this mess now going through the court?

My sister put my Mother in a NH, 2 days after having her sign all new estate planning documents. I filed for Conservatorship and now the sis is opposing me. Our Mother has had her estate planning docs in order since 2001. She has always appointed me succ trustee, POA, etc., in fact, in the Trust doc and the POA it states should she ever need a Conservator, she appoints me. Now the whole thing is in Court, will probably go to trial. The sis will not tell or show anyone what the 2/17 Trust says, but am pretty sure she made herself sole beneficiary. Our mother has dementia, so the docs she had our mom sign are probably invalid. My question is: since I have been appointed succ trustee (and Conservator, should the need arise), why is this mess now going thru the court? By the way, the sister put her in a NH 2 days after signing the new Trust, etc. Then 2 days later, this sister went to mom’s home and stole all of her belongings, including her safe which contained her 2+ carat wedding ring. Mother has asked for her property back, the sis won’t give it. The Sheriffs say it is a civil matter. Prior to that, in the last couple of years this sis was taking our Mother around (3 counties) in her attempt to have mom sign new docs. Just before that, she was trying to persuade Mother to take all of her assets out of the trust, and naming the sis as sole beneficiary. She also tried to sell my Mothers house twice! She is in a NH now, but I would like her to be able to go back to her old house, with 24/hour caregivers. My Mother wants this very much. She is depressed and sad. Now it is in the courts, but, I wonder why, when Mother always wanted me to be her guardian, if she ever needed one, and she does. I dislike this sis so much, since 2012, when our Dad passed, and she handled the probate (he died w/o a will, she was not his POA...when I offered to do his final tax return she cussed me out and told me to speak to her lawyer. Then she says “Here, “B”, this is for you to remember dad by, and she gave me a pair of his sweatpants. She withdrew all cash from his accounts, even applied for and received 8 credit cards in his name (he knew nothing about it, he was in 4th stage cancer). I know when a person passes w/o a will, all children (parents were divorced like ago) are to receive notification re the probate. But that didn’t happen. I am still trying to find out how she was able to pull that one off. Also, I knew that once dad was gone she would go after Mother's assets, and bingo. We have a hearing tomorrow, I am going to ask why I am not Conservator, as she put that in over 12 documents, thru out the years, even a hand written one in 2016. I have an attorney, and when I write to him to ask these questions, he just sort of skirts around it. Don’t tell me to get another Attny, already have approximately $40 to $45,000 in him. I look forward to your help....

JoAnn29 Feb 2018
You said your Mom appointed you Conservator in her POA. Even though she said she wanted you doesn't make it so. You still have to file papers with the Court, have a hearing before a Judge then the Judge sighs off if no one contests it. So u weren't conservator. Now u need to go to court and ask for it. When it comes to your sister, you can sue her. When there is no will, the state gets involved. Since no executor was named in a will you now need to go for Administrator. The Surrogates office needs to know where that money went. Paying bills, distributor to siblings etc. As a sibling you were entitled a percentage as Dads survivor. The state requires their share. You need to get everything together. Letters from doctors saying Mom was not able to sign paperwork. Get an appt with this lawyer and tell him u need to know why it's taking so long because ur Mom is suffering. Good Luck.

HolidayEnd Feb 2018
I surmised that you all live in a rural, small town area from your mention of sis and mom traveling to three counties to alter legal papers, talking to your local sheriff, etc.

There’s plenty of corruption in city and urban areas among the legal officials but in a rural area there’s a very special sort of dishonesty that can be based on people going to kindergarten together, sharing great grandfathers, dating and marrying within small circles, etc.

It seems to me that YOUR lawyer is working more for sis than you. Also, people working at certain banks are chummy with sis, the sheriff is standoffish with you, on and on...

I’m no lawyer, I’ve never heard ‘succ trustee’ before so I looked it up. But some ‘good ol boy’ activities seem to be working on your sis’s side and HAS been working for her since your dad’s death.

You need an investigator that can tell you what sis and her family have been up to....

I’ve been city girl and country girl and I found that if you aren’t ‘in with the in crowd’ out in Hot Coffee, Mississippi, you’re going to get skinned alive.

Something is very fishy about this entire story and it’s up to you to find out what it is....

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igloo572 Feb 2018
And the new atty needs to pull background reports on Sissy. You want to go into the hearing with whatever documentation that shows Sissy is not a fit fiduciary for mom.

This is all about $ & power. Attys who do litigation know how to approach this. It is a different breed of atty.

Dress conservatively for the hearing. No sandals or busy jewelry.

surprise Feb 2018
A good estate planning attorney as GA said, is exactly what you need. Not a general attorney, or a friend of a relative's second cousin. A powerhouse.

GardenArtist Feb 2018
Unfortunately, my suggestion is the one you don't want to hear. You need to find an estate planning or elder law attorney who handles litigation. Having spent a very high amount of money already and not getting the legal support you need is a legitimate concern, but if this attorney isn't up to par then you need to get rid of him or her and find one who is.

And then raise the issue of an injunction against your sister.

BTW, why did you continue with the attorney who isn't performing up to standards?

And follow Glad's suggestion: get documentation from the doctors who diagnosed your mother's dementia, as well as all the other issues, such as the attorney shopping your sister has done, the alleged theft, etc.

You'll need to have proof of your allegations to present to the judge; otherwise raise the issue and ask for an adjournment while you gather that evidence.

gladimhere Feb 2018
I do not understand why if you are successor trustee you do not have a copy of those documents, you should have been given a copy and signed them. Would mom's doctors write a letter, appear as witnesses to state mom was not competent to sign new papers?

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2018
Go to the hearing. Be polite. Let us know what happens.

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