My back is bad, my dad is paralyzed on right side and cannot speak due to stroke. He only says yes or no. I have a wheeled shower chair with padded toilet seat and armrests on it. He refuses it to go to showers. When I asked if it hurt him, he said no I said does it just hurt your pride, he said yes. In shower, transfers have become too much for me alone and I need some way to convince him to get into the shower chair I have available so that we can do his showers without seeming condescending or bossy or aggravated. He lacks speech but is fully understanding of what is being said. Please help me figure this out. He didn’t mind the bench in shower but it was too hard for us to do the transfers with. It’s basically the toilet seat on the shower chair that’s repulsive to him. It’s padded and comfortable, I even offered to put a towel down on top and he pushed the chair away.
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The ideal solution, in that case, is to hire caregivers specifically to help your father with bathing/showering. You shouldn't have to, and you can't safely anyway, risk injury to yourself; but you don't either want your father to be made to feel more disabled than he is already having to deal with. His "pride" is, I agree, of less importance compared to your actual back; but if you can accommodate his feelings then do.
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Is dad prepared to use the chair over the toilet?
If he allows you to bathe him there is not a privacy problem. Sounds like good old male pride. Maybe you will have to pull the Nursing Home card. If you too become disabled because he won't co-operate that may become his only option. He is never going to get better and probably worse so he will just have to learn to deal with what he has. Do you think some therapy would help him see things from your point of view?
You can also arrange sponge baths and he can wash his privates. That is what is done in the hospital.
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