My father had dementia and took a quick downhill turn after pneumonia, bronchitis and sepsis. My mother refused to believe he was as bad off as he seemed and they didn't need a caregiver at home. He knew my name, first, last and maiden when I was visiting at Christmas, I went back in mid-February and he didn't know my name or my son's name but she was convinced he could live at home. Right as he was about to go home, she had a heart attack and joined him at rehab, then, "This place is so expensive, you can finish your therapy at this new place" and that's how they ended up at assisted living/memory care. She was convinced they were going home, even though their doctor said they'd need 2 fulltime caregivers. She was OK before her heart attack, but developed dementia pretty quickly afterwards.
Anyway, like others have said, it will probably mean waiting until something bad happens.
Does she have dementia? If so, she should be evaluated by a geriatric psych-neurologist to see what stage she's in.
As long as she's of sound mind, she can make all the poor choices she wants. You will be sitting on the sidelines on pins and needles until "something" happens where she will need to have your intervention.
Old folks can be super stubborn. Let's remember that when we get there and make it an easy transition for our kids from our home to a care facility.
Eklris, I know what you are going through. My parents were in their 90's and my Mom refused any recommendation of downsizing to a house which didn't have stairs.... also refusing a cleaning crew to come in.... and strongly refused having caregivers after a trial run, she shooed them out after 3 days. Even refused a walker.
I also felt like I could get in trouble if they were left alone. I even mentioned that to my Dad, using a theraputic fib saying I could be arrested. Dad's only advice was that he would get a good Attorney. Oh great, not the answer I was hoping for :P
You'd probably would need to do what many of us here had to do... wait for a serious illness or serious fall where 911 is called, Mom is taken to the hospital, then to Rehab, then to either Assisted Living or Nursing Home.
I had to do that with my Mom, she had a serious fall with head trauma. Mom then went to Rehab and in the same building was long-term-care where she stayed. Sadly her brain accelerated into final stage dementia.
While Mom was living in long-term-care, Dad quickly had me call back in the caregivers to help him. He wasn't in denial of his age and age related health issues.
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Anyway, like others have said, it will probably mean waiting until something bad happens.
If so, she should be evaluated by a geriatric psych-neurologist to see what stage she's in.
As long as she's of sound mind, she can make all the poor choices she wants. You will be sitting on the sidelines on pins and needles until "something" happens where she will need to have your intervention.
Old folks can be super stubborn. Let's remember that when we get there and make it an easy transition for our kids from our home to a care facility.
ADVERTISEMENT
I also felt like I could get in trouble if they were left alone. I even mentioned that to my Dad, using a theraputic fib saying I could be arrested. Dad's only advice was that he would get a good Attorney. Oh great, not the answer I was hoping for :P
You'd probably would need to do what many of us here had to do... wait for a serious illness or serious fall where 911 is called, Mom is taken to the hospital, then to Rehab, then to either Assisted Living or Nursing Home.
I had to do that with my Mom, she had a serious fall with head trauma. Mom then went to Rehab and in the same building was long-term-care where she stayed. Sadly her brain accelerated into final stage dementia.
While Mom was living in long-term-care, Dad quickly had me call back in the caregivers to help him. He wasn't in denial of his age and age related health issues.