Mom has always handled the monies in our home, never using any real budgets. Just the occasional times that bills were not met and her blasting Dad to get the monies to pay bills, usually at income tax time. Dad has had Alz for many years. Caregiver expenses have been $124k last two year, but Mom and I felt he would die quickly if we put him in a nursing home. All of a sudden Mom became in an altered mind state in a matter of two weeks. Springing Durable POA has to be activated. Months later I found drug issues causing hallucinations etc. which medication changes have improved much of her problem, and a new Neuro-Psych Evaluation concluded she does not have Dementia, but she is not right. Now she started demanding her right, for the good of our government to gift, as the letters say that the agency is a 591c(3) tax deductible agencies. She accused me of taking the checkbook away, that I did not know she had! I tried to explain that IF we owe the IRS No Money, then we can not take donations off of the income tax. She refuses to look at tax records to run the math, and see in black and white I am correct. Now 55 days later I went online to the Checking account and see she has been writing more checks. Then I went online to look at one credit card and found that she is also calling non-tax deductible political organizations and making donations, and yes some tax exempt organizations! To the tune of $1,500. I asked her this morning how much she felt she Gifted in the last 60 days: her response was $100. I pulled out printouts and told her it is close to $1,500 in less then 60 days. She threw the paperwork at me and then said, well you are not paying room and board so you have no right to say a word! All I said was: Mom, we paid caregivers to help us care for Dad at home, instead of saving money and putting him in a Nursing home. This cost $124,000 in 2016 and the IRA income was $139,000! I have not worked for several years as I stay here and take care of you and Dad! I did not want to bring up the monies of over $50,000 I had to inject into the finances of my parents this past six months, as I have told her this past week I resent her “gifting” when I am paying out of my pocket to care for them and cash flow Mom’s desire to move back closer to home this year. The one duplex has not sold, which has no mortgage. I did have legal paper notarized that I gave them a loan, using this unsold property as my lien until the loan is paid. At times Mom has said that I bought the home we are in and illegally put the loan in my parents name. Oh I forgot that Mom also said she will never see a doctor again, so the monies she saves on paying co-pays etc can be gifted. I told her that if she decided to go down this road that this will be very detrimental to her and Dad, as she would be considered a risk to herself and Dad, and the State can step in to take control. She scoffs at this! Threatening to call Attorney’s etc, even to remove me! I am tired of the threats, abuse I endure etc. Am I wrong to have gone and taken away the one checkbook she had in her possession? Am I wrong to have taken the credit cards that are not in her name that she is Gifting monies to both charities and non-charities (Political organizations)? Bob (WV)
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