My father is 92 and had an amputation. He has a temporary residence at a nursing home, however the cost exceeds his ability to continue there. How can I be compensated for his care?

Lady Diane, you talk to the social worker and the discharge coordinator at the nursing home about this. They can fill you in on how this works in your state and county.

Your profile doesn't say what state you live in. I understand that NY has more generous provisions, but most states that pay relatives to care for loved ones do not cover 24 hours a day, and the hourly rate is not substantial. Your father would have to qualify for Medicaid to be eligible for home care (or a care center).

Can your father pay you? If so, have a care agreement in place, so there would be no question in the future whether you were being paid or gifted.

If your father went on Medicaid and lived in a care center appropriate to his needs, could you resume your career and afford to keep the house that way? Or support yourself in a different location? Then you could visit Dad often and support him as his advocate.

Or Medicaid could pay for Dad to be in an adult day care program while you work, and/or to pay for in-home care, so you could resume your career but still live with Dad.

I think you would do well to consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law to understand all your options, how Medicaid impacts home ownership, etc.

We really and truly do not have a practical and equitable system of caring for our elders, especially now that they are living so much longer. It sucks. I hope you can arrange the optimal situation under the circumstances. A lawyer can help with that.

LadyDiane, the majority of grown children do not get paid to be their parent's caregiver.... unless the parent can pay out of their own pocket.

I know of no government agency that would pay a grown child for 24/7 care. Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] might pay you for a few hours each day which would be minimal. Medicaid has found it is less expensive to the taxpayers [which helps fund Medicaid] to place a love one into a nursing home, if the love one needs a lot of care, then to pay for home care.

I think it would be better to spend down Dads money and file for Medicaid keeping him in the NH. The house will need to be sold. You will also have to pay the taxes and upkeep because now he is in a NH, all his assets go to his care. You can check with ur local Medicaid office for their rules. Each state varies.

Some states do have programs where a relative is paid for taking care of a LO. Check your local Office of Aging. Then call around to the care agencies and see if they sponsor this program.