I can understand why my 80 yr old client is depressed and miserable. Her life did a complete 180 four years ago when she almost died. Any activity suggestions?

BarbBrooklyn, so much for the antidepressant! She did a 180 and turned lethargic, disoriented, fell every time she stood up and slept all day and night. I stopped the meds and took her to ER, fortunately she is ok and getting back to normal. I hope they find another med for her that doesn’t make her so loopy and out of it. It was supposed to help her constant pain too. She has a history of abusing pain meds so narcotics are out of the question. She will continue to moan and fake cry until she gets something. This is my breaking point because it’s like nails on a chalk board and she doesn’t care what anyone else thinks or feels. I overheard her tell someone if I’m miserable I’ll make sure everyone around me is miserable too!!!!

Countrymouse, I’m a live in caregiver, 24/7 365 days for the last 4 years! It wasn’t so awful the first two years because my daughter and her boyfriend (Nancy’s grandson) lived here too. I could leave for night and feel comfortable because my daughter is very competent and kept a close eye on her. Well now it’s just the grandson and us. I might as well leave her alone outside, I came home yesterday from the dmv and found her laying on the living room floor! All the while he was asleep in basement! No I have never dealt with anyone like her in my life! As for her sisters, her favorite passed away 2 yrs ago and the other lives in Florida and they do not get along at all.

Are her sisters out of the picture now, too?

Ooh boy. How many hours a day do you have to handle this client? I have to say I wouldn't be in your shoes for all the tea in China - she sounds like my MIL (apart from the actually having scheduled sex bit. I hope. As far as I know).

Have you dealt with her sort before?

She is not just addicted to men, but medicines too and I'm not even talking about mind altering drugs or pain meds......all her 30-40 pills she cant wait to take every day. And of course the vitamins and supplements. The other day she was carrying on like crazy, fake crying, moaning etc. I handed her a Zantac because she said she had heartburn. 5 minutes later she said oh thank you that Xanax really helped me, i could feel all my pain go away. I just ran with it so I could have a few minute of peace and quiet. I have given her so many placebos and miraculously they cured whatever was ailing her. She and her sisters used to compare all their meds. She want a pill for EVERYTHING!!!!

By the way. I don't think finding 80 year olds romping on a hospital bed a bit much makes you a prude. I'm all for elders enjoying the same rights to self expression and the pleasures of the flesh as anybody else but that doesn't mean one wants to have to think about it.

And, besides, I don't think in her case it is about enjoyment, is it? It's about need. Hence: addict.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear...

You are looking after an addict. Do you think she's getting enough psychiatric input?

Countrymouse unfortunately I'm certain the old gang has passed on. She had a "boyfriend" when I first came here.....wow......it was nothing more than Mon-Wed-Fri planned sex in the living room, in hospital bed .....well that is over cuz playmate passed on too. I'm a prude and it just disgusts me. I don't want to know or see any of it. Thank You

She wants immediate results with everything. She took another antidepressant when she wasn't supposed to. One is good, two must be better. I have taken her drugs of choice from her reach. She over medicates and this is what caused her to be disabled and nearly die 4 years ago. Her intestine ruptured from OIC. She has to be watched 24/7

Oh dear. Sounds like you'll need to stage a scaled-down version of Sunset Boulevard.

Well. I tried googling "glamour on a shoestring for elders" and it didn't get me very far. Because the truth of it is, and let's not get censorious about it, this lady has fed spiritually on admiration all her life and now there is a bit of a famine. It may be there is not a lot you can do about it. She may be having to reap what her life has led her to sow. Still! - she's lucky to have you with her, trying to find something to compensate for what she's missing.

Does she still have a lot of fancy stuff? Going through it and admiring her taste might take up the odd rainy afternoon. But quite where you are to find her the requisite male audience, sheesh..!

Where used she to hang out? I'm wondering if you might be able to track down any of the crowds now that they're all in their old age too, see where they've got to. Maybe they'll be members of clubs or day care centres that have affordable activities to offer.

If she has just started on antidepressants it will take a couple of weeks to kick in.

yes actually just today.

Is her depression being treated?