You are deluding yourself. You say in your headline:
"grandparents who are very high functioning but need help a lot"
Then, when you want to reason FOR your grandparents' staying at home, it suddenly becomes:
"I only help with small things."
They need help a lot? They need help only with small things?
Moreover, your grandmother has dementia. This is not going to improve. The time will come when your grandfather will need 24/7 support on the premises. Which means not in a separate apartment downstairs, but sharing the space.
I don't think it's a good idea for them to move to your mother's home, either. I'm pretty confident there will soon be a loud consensus from the forum on this.
I strongly recommend that the four of you, over a series of conversations, preferably with input from professionals, look your grandparents' prospects in the face and develop a plan that will work for all of you.
By the way. You think your mother is all about the money, that's why she wants to move them out.
The outside observer is bound to retort that you love your little apartment in their basement. But that's got nothing to do with why you want them to stay?
I don't mean to be unkind. The trouble is that your family's situation is fraught with emotion and worry, and people's practical thinking goes haywire. Remember that all of you want all of you to be as safe, healthy and happy as possible, given the challenges that you all face. You need each others' help.
As things are right now my grandparents can and do care for themselves. I only help with small things like making phone calls since my grandpa's hard of hearing and grandma's suffering from dementia. I have lived here for a year and I love being with them. My issue is that I fear my mother's motives are not pure. My grandparents have stated time and again that they don't want to leave their home and I'm more than willing to stay with them. I have my own apartment in the basement and I love it here. If they move to my mother's not only will they lose their home but also their church and friends. And they will have to do stairs which they don't have at their house. It breaks my heart but I truly think it's all about the money
If one or both of your grandparents are mentally sound, then no your mother cannot force them to leave their home.
That does not mean that it is a good idea for you to become your grandparents' full-time caregiver. Not necessarily better for them, certainly not better for you.
Rather than get into conflict with your mother by supporting your grandparents in a choice that may not be in their best interests overall, keep talking to all of them - your mother, your grandparents, other family members perhaps - about all of the possible options.
If you weren't living with and taking care of your grandparents, what would you be doing?
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You are deluding yourself. You say in your headline:
"grandparents who are very high functioning but need help a lot"
Then, when you want to reason FOR your grandparents' staying at home, it suddenly becomes:
"I only help with small things."
They need help a lot? They need help only with small things?
Moreover, your grandmother has dementia. This is not going to improve. The time will come when your grandfather will need 24/7 support on the premises. Which means not in a separate apartment downstairs, but sharing the space.
I don't think it's a good idea for them to move to your mother's home, either. I'm pretty confident there will soon be a loud consensus from the forum on this.
I strongly recommend that the four of you, over a series of conversations, preferably with input from professionals, look your grandparents' prospects in the face and develop a plan that will work for all of you.
By the way. You think your mother is all about the money, that's why she wants to move them out.
The outside observer is bound to retort that you love your little apartment in their basement. But that's got nothing to do with why you want them to stay?
I don't mean to be unkind. The trouble is that your family's situation is fraught with emotion and worry, and people's practical thinking goes haywire. Remember that all of you want all of you to be as safe, healthy and happy as possible, given the challenges that you all face. You need each others' help.
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That does not mean that it is a good idea for you to become your grandparents' full-time caregiver. Not necessarily better for them, certainly not better for you.
Rather than get into conflict with your mother by supporting your grandparents in a choice that may not be in their best interests overall, keep talking to all of them - your mother, your grandparents, other family members perhaps - about all of the possible options.
If you weren't living with and taking care of your grandparents, what would you be doing?