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sunbrooke Asked March 2018

I am POA and 1/2 siblings want gifts?

My 88 year old father has dementia and I am POA for several months and manage all his affairs. He has a small/modest savings and fixed income that just about cover his monthly expenses. I see his savings as to be needed as his care needs increase. As we all know those are costly (i.e. 24/7 care, etc). One of his other children from another marriage wants to visit from another country and bring her two kids and she wants him to pay for their airfare and some of their visit expenses. I just applied my dad for Medicaid for some elder services. He once said he'd help them with airfare, but he has no memory for or idea about his income and balances. I am in the unfortunate position of having to preserve his funds for his care - what do I tell her when she asks? Since I am his POA and applying him for Medicaid, would I even be allowed to give this "gift"?

gladimhere Mar 2018
No you cannot gift it would make dad ineligible for Medicaid and subject to penalty equal to any gifts in the past five years. So tell her if she cannot pay her own way you will see her another time when she can afford it on her own. As POA your job is to use dad's money for dad's needs and care.

jeannegibbs Mar 2018
It would be a violation of your duties to act in Dad's best interest. It would result in a Medicaid penalty. Tell your half-sib that it is out of your hands.

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gladimhere Mar 2018
You are purposely keeping money for dad and his care. As it should be.

SueC1957 Mar 2018
Medicaid is for indigent elders. He has no business paying for their vacation when he needs help from the government to provide for his care.

Tell your 1/2 siblings that the government won't let him pay and, if he does, they will remove him from the program.

geewiz Mar 2018
Meanwhile, perhaps you can suggest a skype date for a visit from this daughter.

Countrymouse Mar 2018
I hope it will be possible for your half sister to find some other way to visit her father. Has he met his grandchildren?

I have heard of respectable POA holders allowing reasonable travel expenses to be paid to visiting children. But I have to agree with SueC that paying these and then at the same time claiming state support for health care is not going to wash.

But... it IS of benefit to your father to see his daughter, and possibly his grandchildren. Is there really not going to be any other way for her to get there? If she's experiencing genuine financial hardship, can anyone else in the family help?

sunbrooke Mar 2018
Thanks Jeanne and Glad, I thought that might be the case it just sucks to be in the position - I have no relationship with these people and they think I'm purposefully keeping his money from them.

JoAnn29 Mar 2018
Just tell them, Dad does not have the money, period.

sunbrooke Mar 2018
Hi Sue, he has not yet been accepted for Medicaid but I just applied him. He may even be rejected from Medicaid for having a little too much, I don't know. But he's in an interim state where I know his funds WILL soon be needed for his care costs which are getting higher along with his needs.

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