Should we tell mom her house has to be sold?

Why would you tell her? What is your siblings' reasoning?

My parents are both in assisted living and have different levels of dementia. I have to sell the house to pay for their care. I would not dare tell them. The AL adjustment has been tough enough. I fib, tell them I’m taking care of the house, it’s just fine,  if they bring it up.

I think telling or not telling elderly loved ones the truth about anything should be on a case by case basis. Many things are involved in a decision to tell them the truth such as does the person have dementia, how frail is the person, what will likely be the person's reaction, in telling or not telling will the person be disrespected in some way or will their dignity be affected.

I think not telling your mom about selling her house would be the right thing to do. Telling her would serve no purpose and as you said, might crush her spirit. But I have to wonder if you will need her signature on documents in order to sell? If so, won't she have to be told anyway?

Do not tell her. Do what you need to do to keep her safe and happy. Make sure you save some of the small mementos - photos, trinkets etc. You can take them in when you need to.

Good luck

I wouldn't tell her. She can't change anything and it will make her sad for no purpose. Let her have her dream of going home someday and do what you have to do to pay for her care. {{{Hugs}}}

Personally I don’t tell my mom anything that would upset her. I want her to be as happy as possible. I think that outweighs a need to know everything.