It was carelessly left on a table in her nursing home room by her daughter who is her power of attorney and doesn't get along with me, so blamed me. There was a LARGE amount of money in it, stupidly she had this checkbook in moms top drawer at the nursing home for the last year. I didn't say anything because they took POW away from me. Is there any thing I can do since I've been accused but yet no one called the police? It did show back up and I never received an apology.
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Also, your mom doesn't need her checkbook in the facility. If she keeps it with her this won't be the only time it suddenly goes missing. Next time it may not be found.
When my dad was in a nursing home he wanted to keep some money on him. I explained to him why it wasn't necessary but he said he'd feel better with some cash in his wallet. I brought him $20 and put it in his wallet. The next time I visited (a couple of days later) it was gone. He had no idea what happened to it but he wanted more money to put in his wallet. So I would bring him a $5 bill and and a few ones. No more than he could afford to lose since he would be losing anything I brought him. Or it was being taken, I never did find out. But there's nothing to spend money on a facility. But I would replenish his money each visit and it would be gone by the next visit.
There are sticky fingers in facilities.
Theft of a checkbook sounds more like something a cognitively-impaired resident might do. Just having a checkbook doesn't do any good unless you can forge a signature and present some ID. A nurse or aide would realize that; a sweet little ol' lady with dementia might not. In fact a sweet little gal with dementia might even think, "Oh look. She has my checkbook. I'll just take it back." Things go missing in care facilities all the time. Leaving valuables in unlocked drawers is generally not a good idea. But you aren't responsible for that. Let the POA handle it.
Is there anything you can do? Like what? Vent, I suppose. Complain that your mother's daughter (your sister?) accused you of stealing from your mother? That might make you feel a little better. Consider this post your vent. Add to it if you want to. Grrr... that nasty daughter!
Hold your breath until you get an apology? Oh my! I certainly wouldn't do that! You might hurt yourself when you fell over from lack of oxygen. No one else would be hurt.
Go to the police or the NH administration? And say what? "Mom's daughter accused me of stealing her checkbook. I certainly did not! And the checkbook has been found anyway. Now she won't even apologize." What could they do about that?
If there were some consequences to you, for example if POA is trying to prevent you from visiting based on this accusation, then, yes, defend yourself. But if POA was just nasty talking to you, drop it. It is not worth your stress.
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