What to do about my 87 yr old Mother who talks excessively and controls the conversation?

It's difficult to change behavior in seniors. I get how it's frustrating. Sometimes, I don't even bother, because they talk and interrupt. But, since this is your house, you can establish some boundaries. Can you set up a sitting room for you and husband away from her? You can explain that you are respecting HER privacy, so she can have some time alone.

I know people like that who aren’t 87 with cancer, low vision and hard of hearing! It’s very annoying I’m sure.
Has she always been this way? The one I’m thinking of has been. Lots of “ do you know what i means” scattered throughout as well.

My family always try’s to never ask her a question as she will just go on and on. It’s a vexation to the spirit.

Ask your mom to please allow you and your husband this time alone to visit. Or try to take a walk with husband. It’s obvioudly difficult for all of you to blend your family but I think we sometimes need to put a bit more effort in addressing these needs when they occur rather than allowing it to go on and on until we find we are being aggravated.

And then also take the time to sit and visit with your mom.

With her vision and hearing problems it might be hard for her to be as receptive to social cues as you’d like her to be.

It’s always good to have boundaries.