What can I do if my 92 yr old mother is skeptical of a POA, but lives alone and is starting to show signs of dementia?

Thank you for your sharing your experiences. I do appreciate it. Mom has no assets except her one bank acc't which I'm the beneficiary. I'm hoping the bank will let me write her 2 monthly bills and whatever else comes up out of her acc't since I'm the beneficiary. I've talked to her about how automatic bill paying works and she might do that. She's strong willed and has never trusted people. My Dad passed away in TX and had none of these documents and we had no problems with probate courts. I guess there lies a good reason to have no assets.

im just writing here for ideas. and im giving take it or leave it advice.
but does your mom have a will? if so, does she have a attorney?
maybe she would be willing to see an attorney regarding a will(?) to protect her assets?
then maybe the attorney could advise her a POA/trustee would help her in the future?
She can set it up...and until she signs off, she is still in control.

Im only posting what happened in my situation. I was listed as first DPOA/trustee only after my dad signed off to my mother, and then later my mother signed off to me.

"I'm hoping the bank will see she's been writing checks to me. And I'm beneficiary on the account and when I need to, the bank will help."

Banks are impersonalized institutions. What are you hoping they will help you with?

Your mom writes out checks payable to you for the last 3 years. Great. You cashed the checks and the bank honored them. That's the end of the story.

She put you on her account as the beneficiary. So, when she dies, you will inherit any money left over. That will be the end of the story.

What are you hoping the bank will "see" and "help" you with? Anything else IF requires further authorization from your mother, the bank will require. They won't care that your mother has been writing checks payable to you for years or that you're her beneficiary on the account.

My suggestion: Take your mother to the bank and have her tell the bank to ADD your name to her account. Then you will have total control and access to the account. Then you can do what you need to do for her when she gets too confused to know what banks and checks are, and how to sign her name.

Thanks for the support and answers. I was a nurse 30 years. I've seen lots of dementia. I just didn't have room or time to list all her signs. She's never let anyone know her money situation except we signed a beneficiary form at the bank. We read and discussed what she wants in a living will and she wouldn't sign. Too many variables she said. She wants me to decide. Are the people answering in Arkansas? Thanks kidnurse9

Ask her what her concerns are on the POA? She can have those issues addressed specifically by the attorney.
Write all her concerns out so that when you have the appointment she will feel better prepared to discuss.
I think that people sometimes assign a POA without really understanding what they are doing. I think that sometimes people accept the responsibility of being a POA without knowing what they are getting into.
You may decide you don’t want to be a POA.
Meanwhile talk to mom about setting her bills up on automatic pay and keep receipts for the groceries and any other items mom pays you for.
You need to do this regardless of being POA. 

kidnurse, what are the issues with the Power of Attorney? Why is your Mother skeptic of this person? Are you that person, and Mom now is concerned about her money?

There are times when I forget what is the title of my favorite movie, and a couple times I was late on my mortgage. People do that even when they are young, it doesn't mean someone has dementia.

Dementia is more when a person forgets how to dress, how to cook, how to use the washing machine, forgets how to drive, doesn't know what year it is, or what city they live in. I started to notice my Dad's dementia when he would call me after 4 pm thinking he was back in the 1940's, oops.

If you start to write checks on your Mom's account, make sure you keep a file of the bill and xerox a copy of the check [I use to put the check on the bill and xerox it]. That will help in case Medicaid might be needed in the future. It will show that your Mom hasn't been "gifting" you money.

You tell her she needs to have all documents in place or the state will assign a guardian when necessary. That would mean any family member would not have a say in her care of any other decisions that need to be made, including financial. Does she want her family or the state involved?

And if she has no POA the only option for family to obtain guardianship would be through a court action, costing thousands.