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Caring12S Asked April 2018

Mother showing signs of dementia. She is 63. Any feedback?

In the past three years I’ve noticed my moms personality changing. Only until the last year it seems to have gotten worse. Some things I’ve noticed. Very Antsy (leaving the house constantly) driving around aimlessly. Very outspoken now and can be insulting at times. (Very quiet lady before). Hard time following instructions and goes off about something irrelevant. She seems to lose track of time.( Ex. Saying she did something yesterday when it was a week ago). If we correct her she gets very angry and insists she’s correct. She likes telling people stories of her past when she was in her teens and her memories are spot on, but doesn’t remember recent year stuff. Doesn’t understand meanings of words and pauses to think and asks what’s that? (Ex. ketchup). She has been recently clearing out and rearranging things in the house compulsively. We also had these freezers that she unplugged and removed everything out and left everything in bags in the basement for a week to rot. When asked she said she just had them unplugged a day when it was actually a week. (Not thinking things through carefully). She seems to have a spending problem so we’ve kinda taken over. (Stockpiling unnecessary items). She talks to random strangers quite frequently and running up to children. She has inherited this childlike behaviour and very giddy, silly in impromptu times. (Ex. at the doctors). Her hygiene isn’t the greatest and wears the same outfit day in and out. She has a CT scan booked soon but it seems to sound a lot like FTD. Any feedback would be appreciated. She’s 63.

HolidayEnd Apr 2018
She could be having vascular events like tiny strokes, etc. I’m glad she’s seeing the doctor soon.

Sunnygirl1 Apr 2018
I'd get consult with Elder Law attorney to get info on how to intervene immediately. With her condition and then driving around. To me, that would be an emergency. I might contact her primary doctor with an update on what's going on. Attorney can provide info on how to report her for license revaluation. Until they can determine what is going on with her, I'd try to protect her and the public by getting her off the roads.

Trying to convince, explain, etc. is almost impossible. You might check on You tube for videos on dementia by Teepa Snow. They are quite helpful.

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Caring12S Apr 2018
@myworld2017 - It’s very frustrating for me trying to understand why she is doing the things she does. She gets bored very easily as well and is constantly saying she has nothing to do then drives around aimlessly......

Caring12S Apr 2018
@sunnygirl1 - My mother disagrees with everything with us and believes what she is doing is the right way. She gets very angry and screams and yells if we correct her. Also, she doesn’t cook for herself anymore just makes TV dinners and sweets (mostly chocolate bars). I hope to find out soon what’s going on.

Caring12S Apr 2018
Thanks everyone! It’s nice to know people are going through the same thing as I am. I am pretty young myself so this is hard on me and my sisters. My dad actually just passed away 2 months ago and it seems like it has gotten worse. My mother was also a caregiver to my dad because he was sick for so long.

Sunnygirl1 Apr 2018
Yes, it sounds like something is definitely going on and I see why you suspect FTD. It's good you are able to get her to cooperate and get proper medical tests and care. On the positive side, if it's something that can be treated, you'll discover it. If not, then at least you know and are able to plan.

My LO was diagnosed at age 62 with Vascular Dementia. It really is especially hard when it's someone so young. Once, you get a diagnosis, you can then research progression, but, it does vary from person to person. My LO's progression was in stepped down fashion, but, they were pretty substantial and happened fast after her diagnosis. She needed secure memory care within months.

Many of the things you mentioned hit home. The stockpiling of items, poor hygiene, agitation, lack of focus, rearranging things in house. repeating stories from the past, no short term memory, etc. But, my LO did not have a personality change. She was more disagreeable with me, but, in general, her personality was the same. So, I see why you mentioned FTD.

myworld2017 Apr 2018
My mom was 65 when we first noticed. We may have noticed sooner if we were open, but thought she was too young for something like dementia. Her pcp attributed it to depression brought on by my Dad fighting cancer. But if I'm honest, it goes back before Dad was sick.

Many of the examples you list are similar to what we noticed. She ate with the wrong utensil, couldn't put a hamburger together (would put the patty on top of both buns, or ketchup on the top of the bun), loaded the dishwasher with the glasses standing up right, no longer cooked or drove, and no longer participated in the community like she once did. It was so bizarre to comprehend what was going on.

We moved mom to AL 5 months ago and while the transition was difficult she is now happy and settled. She has friends and activities to keep her busy most of the day (even though she regularly complains about having nothing to do). Her decline has been quicker than we would have expected. A year ago we were looking for AL options with clubs and groups she could be part of. If we were moving her today we would be looking at memory care and know that she is no longer able to participate in clubs or activities that require following instructions or steps. Even attending church is now difficult on her because she can't follow along in the bulletin.

Best feedback I can share is that everybody is different, but the best thing we did was get my mom into assisted living where she can still have a life of her own to whatever extent she can. She sees a doctor monthly and has trained people around her to catch the changes that we may miss.

Best wishes to you and your family

Caring12S Apr 2018
@barb - Yes the psychiatrist recommended a CT scan.

Caring12S Apr 2018
Thanks everyone. The doctor had been doing these memory tests on her and suggests she has short term memory loss and also I’ve brought her to a psychiatrist and he said a CT scan will determine if she has anything. She’s gone for blood work(determine UT infection?). My mother lives alone now so I’m always worried and now she may lose her license.

gladimhere Apr 2018
Yes, it sounds like early onset. A friend's wife was diagnosed with semantic dementia at 55. They had noticed memory issues for a few years before the diagnosis. When they sought medical help they were sitting at the breakfast table one morning watching birds in the trees. She pointed and asked "what is that?". She was pointing at the birds.

She progressed quickly as is many times the case with early onset. A secure environment was necessary a couple of years later after she started boarding busses to ride around the city and nobody knew where she was. The secure environment, in her case, was the state mental hospital (excellent care by the way) because of her level of agitation and combativeness.

Best wishes to you and mom. Has she been checked for a urinary tract infection? There may be another cause that can be treated.

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2018
Agree with MAC. Who suggested the CAT scan?

Have you spoken to her doctor about her change in mental status?

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