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Caregiver4m Asked April 2018

I recently became my mother’s caregiver, she lives in a 55 and older community. My daughter is 5, can the HOA limit my daughter's residence?

My mother needed a caregiver and lived in 55 older community. She purchased a second condo for my daughter (5) and I (35) to live in...can the HOA board limit my daughter to living here 30 days?

Ahmijoy Apr 2018
My mom lived in a 55+ apartment community and while they would allow younger spouses or caregivers, there were no youngsters allowed. Even if your daughter goes to kindergarten or preschool, that’s not the same as growing up in a neighborhood with kids and kid-friendly activities.

Shane1124 Apr 2018
Maybe your mom can purchase another residence for you close to the 55+ community, as it is not likely you can live there with a 5 y/o.
Your 5 year old would be bored. No one to play with, no school bus services, nothing there is kid friendly.
Also looking long term your mom may need long term care in the future and her buying the condo will be considered gifting, which is a whole other can of worms.
You sail your mom “mentioned” your daughter, her age will need to be clarified.
55+ communities are just that. No children allowed to live there daily. Try to cease negotiations on the contract before it costs your mother more money. HOA’s can be ruthless and could result in your mother losing her rights to live there.

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freqflyer Apr 2018
Caregiver4m, Mom is putting you in a difficult position which she probably didn't realize she was doing.

Yes, the HOA can limit your daughter to only 30 days if that is the rule of the Association. I have seen HOA's that limit a child to only 7 days to visit with their grandparents. Sounds like maybe your Mom didn't mention her granddaughter was only 5 years old. The association probably was thinking your daughter was an adult.

Let's say you move in with your 5 year old. During the week your daughter will have no one to play with, as most of the grandchildren come to visit on the weekends and summer vacation. There will be no tot lots to play in. And what about school? There won't be any school bus stops at a 55+ community.

Hope your Mom can get out of her Contract to purchase that second condo, or she can use that property as an investment rental, but the tenant would need to be 55+. That way she could use that money plus the money which was for the association monthly fee to hire caregivers. Thus, giving you to chance to get a job what offers you health insurance, social security/Medicare payroll deductions, paid vacation days, paid sick days, maybe life insurance, maybe matching 401(k), etc.

Let us know how this works out.

JoAnn29 Apr 2018
55 and up do not except children. People buy into these condos and communities because of this. You need to make sure the condo assoc. will allow u to live there with a child based on the circumstances. Better to be honest upfront.

Sunnygirl1 Apr 2018
There are federal laws that dictate how communities make these restrictions. I'd check with an attorney to get their advice.

Caregiver4m Apr 2018
My mom does have a doctor note that she needs my help...she did notify hoa and get permission for me and mentioned my daughter. The hoa rules say under 18 cannot stay longer than 30 days—-I don’t want us to obtain another condo for space if my daughter isn’t allowed to stay without issue.

SnoopyLove Apr 2018
I've heard that younger spouses can live in 55+ communities, but I am not sure about younger caregivers, who also have a child, and are in a separate condo.

Could you ask to see the HOA rules regarding this to see what they actually say? It would seem a shame in terms of your plan to take care of your mom, but there are a lot of people who buy into these communities with the expectation that there aren't going to be a lot of kids running around. I love kids myself so I don't quite understand this but apparently, it's a common preference.

JoAnn29 Apr 2018
The Condo is in the 55 and up complex? Did your Mom get permission for you to live there?

In answer to your question...Did your Mom get permission for you to be there for her care? If so, then she must have mentioned the child. 30 days may be OK. The whole thing about a 55 and up is no children allowed.

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