Has anyone had any luck transitioning their senior parent from a regular toilet seat to a bidet seat?

Thanks everyone for sharing. Mom has a riser now on her old toilet so she is used to the taller height. To try out the elongated seat I added it to the old round base and she likes it and so does the aide. I also bought a Moen side grab bars attachment for the upcoming toilet we will get. I am going to look into the perineal bottle as well as the bidet options. Thanks so very much!!!

Partsmom: Elders have difficulty arising from a standard height toilet.

Thanks, Gardens--"Toto" was the other brand I couldn't remember when I typed my other comment. So we have American Standard and "Toto too" :-)

As my grandmother declined over a 15 year period from multiple strokes, she progressed from needing assistance getting to the bathroom, then to the bedside commode, and eventually could not be moved from her bed.
I watched her daughters struggle physically to transport her from bed or chair to the toilet.
We purposely installed a bidet toilet when making accessiblility modifications to our bathroom.
The brand we purchased is called “Toto” and the product a “Washlet.” It is available as a separately installed seat or as a complete toilet.
It requires connection to an electrical outlet.
My Mom now lives with us. She has dementia, Parkinson’s and is at risk for falls. This toilet has been indispensable in maintaining both her hygiene and her dignity.
She resisted initially. But, as she needed more and more help with toileting, I was able to quietly turn it on while she sat. Now, I hear no complaints.
It has been helpful and sometimes a life-saver in these circumstances:
- When she is too weak to stand in the shower
- When she has had diarrhea
- To prevent irritation and chaffing from urine that leaks (incontinence)
- To preserve her dignity by providing a discrete rinse rather than doing the wiping for her
- When her hemorrhoid becomes irritated or bleeds
- To keep diaper rash in check during the hot summers
- To provide a soothing rinse whenever there is irritation
At this point, I cannot imagine trying to care for Mom without it.

Toilet height has advantages and disadvantages--I have also read that a lower seat (or a footstool that gives the option of being more "folded" ) increases the efficiency of the bowels. However, the lower seat makes it more difficult to get off the seat; I have a knee that no longer lifts well enough to get up easily, and having your knees lower than your body makes it much easier to get up. My husband at one time got so annoyed at one of the toilets at our business that he got some rubber blocks about 2-3 inches square and glued them on the underside of the toilet seat to raise it. (He also extended the height where the seat hinged.)

If you get one, make sure it has a water warming feature.

I can attest to the best functionality is that the toilet is higher. Most elders will have difficulty arising from a standard toilet. IMHO, the best feature of the bidet is the water function. I personally have not used one.

Costco presently has a toilet seat that is a bidet and dryer in the sales catalogue for about $250. I had my plumber put a hand held one on each of my toilets a number of years ago. This was great as long as my husband could lean forward for me (he no longer understands what I'm asking) so I could give him a spray to clean him. Just a couple of ideas that are out there.

Yes, I think that when people refer to a "bidet toilet seat" they are talking about the units that are made to be used in place of a regular toilet seat on a regular toilet. If you have never heard of them before you can watch dozens of videos on YouTube.

I just saw where, instead of getting the whole bidet toilet, you can just buy the top portion, which has a warming seat and the water function and I was totally thinking of getting that for my mother who is challenged on hygiene issues as well. I can’t offer any advice, but I, myself, was looking for advice here as well.  I think I saw it at Costco.. but still unsure about it, it was just yesterday too!  I think I have memory loss!

We had one of those fancy Japanese toilets in our hotel room in Hawaii and I could not figure out how to use all the many features it had! So complicated! I liked that it lit up in the dark and had a "rinse" feature should you need it. It raised or lowered seat as you approached and had a heated seat. I think it even played music!

I wonder if the style of toilet used in Asian hotels might be of use to some elderly people. These incorporate a bidet. However, it might be too difficult to figure out for some of them. Interestingly enough, the one in my hotel room in Korea was made by American Standard. I've seen them in the US, too, but this was in a hotel owned by a Japanese company (and was made by another manufacturer).

I have also read that a bedside commode with the bucket removed, splash guard in place is a good solution for toilets that are not ADA or have no grab bars, gives height needed with something to hold and push up on. More stable then the risers. Just information.

To add to Raylinstephens, excellent post about the taller toilets. They have also been implicated in contributing to constipation because it makes it a tad more difficult to evacuate.

A lower seat keeps the bowels at a better angle making it easier to evacuate.

The grab bar ideas sounds like a good one or the lift.

Also depending on you mom's level of flexibility or dementia a bidet sprayer may be a tad confusing for her.

If she is sharp, why not try it, though.

Bought a bidet for my husband and didn't like it. He was incapable of using it and I tried to help him but it didn't go well, Must mention that it was a portable from Bed Bath and Beyond. It was just easier for me to use the tub with a removable shower head to clean him after a BM movement. And I also bought him a shower seat for the tub so he could have something to sit on if he felt dizzy.

I found with my Husband that the sooner changes were made the better he could cope.
With the bidet seat you will have to be there and help her with the use and the functions. Also the first few times she may get startled and try to get up and that could present a fall risk. As the dementia progresses she will forget how to use the functions so you will have to continue to be there to help.
The house that my Husband and I moved into was built handicap accessible and both bathrooms have the tall, elongated toilets. I love them. (As a matter of fact when I have to use a "regular" toilet in a public washroom, I feel like I am sitting on a child"s toilet.) Interesting thing the sink in the fully handicap bathroom had an infrared faucet on the sink. I had to remove that because he did not understand how to just put his hands under the faucet to get the water to run. It was frustrating for him. So after several months of trying I replaced the faucet and he was much more able to deal with the hand washing and brushing his teeth.

I can't speak to the issues with an elongated toilet very much, but it seems to me that it would help provide a little extra room if an aide has to reach behind the person to clean their bottom. The size of the ill person and difficulty in reaching around behind them could affect the matter too. In my case I discovered hand held bidets. A plastic squeeze bottle with an angled spout. Also referred to as perineal bottles, etc. You will find dozens of variations on Amazon, etc. You can use plain warm water maybe add some witch hazel, or use a solution sold for the purpose. I liked the idea well enough that I now use one myself.

I have never met a woman who likes an elongated toilet - they are designed for men and don't ask, I'm not sure why.

If there is any way for your mother to "see" the difference in taller, elongated, vs the standard bowl - you might be surprised that she could very-well prefer the standard - as a short woman, I personally hate the taller toilets and really hate the elongated ones.

They do make a toilet-seat-lift so Mom won't have to sit down as far and easier to raise up - but again, this too becomes old rather quickly. My DH had one after his first knee surgery and we tried again recently because at 96 he had too much trouble. He hated it. So I put in Grab Bars all over the bathroom and he's much happier now. Also a "Toilet Surround" that he can use to get up. (think "walker" surrounding the toilet - similar) Much better solution. P.S. he hated the higher, elongated toilets too.

RE: the bidet: go for it. I believe it is an option if you use it or not.

Instead of a bidet seat, we purchased a bidet sprayer that attaches to the faucet and hangs on the side of the tub.
amazon.com/gp/product/B01E4H7DTA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
It will give us full control of the cleansing so that as she progresses it can be used to rinse a larger area that may be soiled from wearing a diaper. By attaching to the faucet you also have direct control of the temperature of the water.

So, I used a bidet seat once at a colleague's home ( Her husband had had a heart attack and wanting no wiping his private parts!).

It was quite an experience and I want one, am saving up for it. But I think it could be disconcerting to an elder.

Sunny, the point of the bidet seats is that they do the cleaning (and the drying too if you get that function). They seem to be exactly what people who are having difficulty keeping clean would need, but!! - I'm not sure how someone with dementia would handle getting a wash and blow dry if they have never used one before.

I don't know your mother's level of progression, but, I would question how she would learn how to handle such a thing by herself. Are you describing just a seat or one that had water function? I wasn't sure. From my experience, my LO was not even able to do basic things for her bathroom hygiene. She even forgot how to call for help, so, nothing but direct supervision and hands on care would help her.

I'd try to figure out if the person helping her would be able to clean her on the bidet seat. I've never done it, so, I can't say. Can you ask the assistant or CNA what they think? Having the person lay on the bed to be cleaned may be easier. I'm not sure.

I've also read that people with dementia often have an aversion to water. That's why they don't like getting a shower. So, I'd be wary of the bidet if it sprays water.
I hope that you'll get some responses from those who have used these before.

The idea of bidet toilet seats has intrigued me for a long time - they seem such a practical solution - but I don't personally know anyone who has one. It would be nice if there was a showroom where you could try them out, wouldn't it 😉