Mom is sick and has a reversed mortgage. Any advice?

Hey guys checking in. I wanted to brainstorm with you guys and get an opinion. As you know mom passed away with a reversed mortgage. I was planning on listing it in hopes to pay it off and keep the proceeds. Then I realized maybe refinancing it would be an option for me. If I move I would have to pay 2k plus utilities as a renter just for a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment whereas if I refinance it I would pay 2350.00 a month and still be able to keep the home. Rent that i get is 1500 for the walk in and 950 for the basement. Plus SSI for my daughter. Do you think this is a good idea or should I just sell and move on and become a renter? The longer the property stays listed the more the interest grows on the reversed mortgage. I'm the remainderman on the estate and I'm also on the deed.

Devastated, I too am sorry for your loss. Your mother was facing a tremendous challenge, and it probably was just too much. The many complications were frightening, for both you and her.

Please DO take a break before jumping in to deal with the house. The realtor's advice sounds good, and you could make a profit, but remember that this is the first realtor. I'm working with 2, will add another, and then decide who I really want to handle the house sale.

If you do that, you can get good comparisons and match your ideas and intents with someone who's the most compatible and will provide you with the best service. You can also create a checklist of issues, and keep adding as more may likely arise as you get further into the sale issues.

But, first, take at least a week off and do nothing except relax. The last months have been especially traumatic, and you need a break. Speaking from experience, that break will help you approach the next steps with more clarity. And if you feel that decisions are literally closing in on you, you're not alone.

Sorry for your loss. I wish you and your daughter peace.
Your poor mom! She went through so much in such a short period of time. I know how it feels to lose a mom that was your best friend. She will be with you in spirit.
Also sorry about the house needing to be sold. Can you just reschedule the realtor for another week or two to let yourself grieve? Please consider that as you need time to take care of yourself, your daughter and your mom’s funeral. 

Good morning guys its me. For some reason my old login info wont work so I had to make a new account. Mom passed away on Sunday. Im heartbroken. She was my bestfriend. I feel alone and more scared than before. Last week I met with a realtor to discuss the house situation. He made an assessment based on the current condition of the house. He said he could sell it to investors and I would not have to worry about the tenants or doing any upgrades because I would be selling as is. I was wondering if I should do upgrades to get a better price. He said he could list it for 550,000 as is. Im supposed to meet with him again this coming Saturday to discuss. I hate that I have to think about this now but I knew it was coming so I wanted to be prepared. I had no idea she would leave me Sunday.

I agree about taking a break tonight. Get some air, get some sleep, let's start again in the morning.

Devastated, I think that you're understandably facing too much. Take a break from the RM issue, the house issue, and find something to do that really relaxes you and let us know when you feel up to it. There are better and reliable ways of checking on the ownership issue. We can guide you through it, but not tonight.

FreqFlyer 2nd floor pays 1500 no lease. It was all month to month. Basement family is 900 also month to month. I cant refinance because I cant work anymore due to the increasing needs of my daughter. I dont know any bank that would give me a loan without a job. Even with my good credit score financially I've come to the conclusion I would have to sell my childhood home. Refinancing means I would have a monthly mortgage. Right now I'm paying the property tax, homeowners insurance, water, electric, car insurance etc. It wouldn't be realistic to keep it. When I worked I contributed to the expenses. With mom not being here much longer it would be impossible to maintain this house. I played with the idea of refinancing because the thought of losing my mom and the house would be crushing but realistically in my position. I'm single with a child with special needs it wouldn't work.

Devastedmom12, regarding the tenants... since your Mom's house is set up with apartments, you can sell the house with the tenants in place. An investor would love to already have good tenants on board, plus the investor usually will honor the leases.

Only draw back is if your Mom never raised the rent nor there is no mentioned of a percentage increase each month [when I had rental properties I never raised the rents as I wanted to keep outstanding tenants].... so the new owner may want to raise the rents once each tenant's lease is up for renewal.

Sorry you will need to sell the house later down the road because of the Reverse Mortgage. Unless you think you can refinance the house to pay back the loan, interest, and fees.

Also thanks again for all the responses and No I have not contacted the RM company. I'm told before she could be approved they would have sent an appraiser to the home and it would be open knowledge that this was a 3 family dwelling.

To be honest I dont even know anymore. When I Google the property it list me as the owner. I dont really know. Some documents I found online have my moms name other documents I saw online have my name. I dont even know if I'm on the deed. I'm on something for my name to come up as owner. I'm not well versed when it comes to reversed mortgages. I don't know if I even have any claim to this house. Someone said by default since I'm the only child it would go to me. I really wish she consulted with me before doing this RM thing. She didnt really need to do it. She was retired. Had 2 pensions and was receiving her moms Social security based on how my grandmother set up her affairs before she died. Sometimes I like to think these things are happening now to make me stronger. Not sure. Either way all I know is the balance now is 313552.15 with a line of credit I'm not touching. I wish I could provide more info but I dont have any more info. This RM thing was all pretty new to me

Devastated, on the issue of resuscitation, remember that it's highly likely her ribs would be cracked during the process. She's already in a lot of pain. That would make it a lot worse.

As to the house, we can't offer suggestions unless additional information is provided. Please reread our posts, especially Igloo's and mine, and clarify the title, ownership and RM issues for us.

I'm still not clear how your mother could execute an RM if you're both on the title.

I wasn't aware there were tenants; that could make the house not a residential one, but an income bearing one, and factor into the RM home use issue.

As to the tenants, you might just let them know what the situation is, but indicate that life is too complex right now for you to make any decisions.

If the questions are too much for you right now (and you are in an overwhelmingly complex situation), just say so and we can simplify the questions and issues.

And remember to take some down time for yourself; your life is complicated enough right now.

ETA: CM's makes a good point. I wound NOT contact the RM lender. There's too much going on and we still don't have all the information needed on this issue. DON'T give them a heads-up and give them a chance to accelerate the indebtedness.

Have you been in touch with the RM company at all? I wonder if they are still unaware that your mother was not the sole owner. If you haven't already, this point is definitely worth exploring. I suspect somebody has been too keen to sell your mother one of these flaming, wretched, Godforbidden exploitative financial products and perhaps didn't do enough checking.

Hey guys just checking in. Moms condition worsened. Apparently the clot she had on her neck put pressure on her spinal cord making causing paralysis. When this first happened she could at least raise her left arm but now her left arm cant lift and it's in this weird permanent position. Doctors think she may have had a slight stroke or it could be something caused by her being in the bed for so long. I was under the impression if she went into a nursing home rehab she could get physical therapy. Doctor said she cant even sit in a chair anymore. Shes on a feeding tube, vent and the thing they use to release her bowels. Sorry I forgot the term. I always assumed I would have my mom until she was in her late 80s but I guess the universe had other plans. In the beginning they asked me if my mom went into distress do I want her to be resuscitated. I replied in tears YES. I want you to save my mom. Now I changed my mind. My mom is so frail and researching what happens when they try to resuscitate played a part in my decision. So I made that decision Friday and then the doctor asked me about the defibrillator. I didnt take that into consideration. I already said DNR now you want me to make a decision about something else. I told her I dont know and then she reiterated that if in fact she does go into distress the shocks from the defibrillator would also cause her pain. I asked if I could add her brother as a health care proxy because I felt overwhelmed. She retorted that they would rather deal with one person.

Now on to the house. Me and mom had the top floor and the 2nd and basement apartments were all rented out. These tenants gave my mom no problems and I dont know how to go about telling them they have to vacate when my mom passes. They've been here since 1997. I tried clearing out some of my moms things and I broke down. Going to the hospital everyday and coming home to an empty house takes a toll on me mentally and physically. My daughter is nonverbal and autistic, she is 13, still only eats baby food and 2 hours and wears pullups. Everything is happening so fast. Selling the house is one thing but where do me and my daughter go from there. I feel alone because she was my bestfriend. She always calmed me when I worried about my child not being able to communicate with me if someone were hurting or mistreating her. I really dont know what the future has in store for me. My mom was my everything. It seems like everyone who raised me is leaving me. My dad died in 2009, Grandmothers passed within two years of each other. It just feels like everyone is leaving me. Please continue to send encouraging words. I talked to a realtor not disclosing the reversed mortgage and he said he could get probably 700k for it. I dont trust some realtors they make all these promises but who knows.

I’m going back to Garden first post..... if your name was on the deed &/or the title of the home as registered at the courthouse & reads as an owner as per tax bills at the time your mom did the RM, you would have needed to allow for the RM and sign off on documents related to the mortgage and ownership. If that didn’t happen, I’d get a real estate atty to challenge the validity of the mortgage. And perhaps also to position a lawsuit against the RM of taking advantage of a vulnerable adult as they should have done deep dive to know of your position in ownership and if anything was changed to your ownership position that’s taking advantage of a vulnerable adult.

Personally I think there’s at the edge of predatory lending for many RMs. 300k on a 600k paid off house. Sheesh.

It’s a line of credit RM, isn’t it? That’s what the monthly letters are about. They want mom to drain out the LOC.

Hey guys just an update on my mom. She has a temp and pneumonia that just won't respond to antibiotics. She has paralysis on her entire right side and may not be able to walk if she recovers. This really came out of the blue. I monitor everything. As soon as I realized moms dementia was getting worse I put in for FMLA then decided to resign from my job to care for her. It feels like everything is happening so fast. I grown so accustomed to her being here and it hurts really bad. She is my bestfriend and I was devastated when dementia took the person that raised me but even more hurt now that shes in the hospital. I look back now and say I would much rather deal with the dementia than deal with her not being here with me. If I lose my mom and the house I know it will be hard for me. Not knowing where me and my daughter will go, being homeless scares me. She is my rock. Please pray for me. I'm scared and lost.

Devestated, my husband's INR was 17 last year, for no apparent reason. As Shane says, they treated him with Vitamin K and a lot of kale!

Good thoughts to you and your mom.

An INR of 8 is too high and will cause bleeding. If a person is on a blood thinner, specifically Warfarin, goal INR is usually between 2.0 - 3.0. A high INR can be treated with an antagonist (Vitamin K) especially in an ICU setting.

As far as giving the house up, that’s hard. But realistically the upkeep on a 50 y/o house can be costly, so sometimes giving it up is a blessing in disquise. 

Yes Garden Artist. The statement always comes monthly with the balance along with another paper asking if she wants to withdraw. Everytime I see the balance and that slip I just cringe. My mom was always stubborn. The house was already paid off. This house has been in our family since 1968 when her mom owned it. I guess I'm just numb right now. Since my mom's hospitalization everything is seems like a dream. I know I'm just a screen name but please keep me in your thoughts.

I'm assuming the hospital will use something like heparin or lovenox to bring her levels down. I hope everything works out all right for her.

I'm wishing the best for her, and peace for you and your daughter. This must be difficult for both of you.

I'm not sure I understand the monthly statements. From what would she be withdrawing? Do you mean the reverse mortgage company is asking if she wants to withdraw more funds, increasing the amount outstanding?

Thanks guys for responding. I'm her only child and she is in the early stages of dementia. Her INR level jumped to 8 out of nowhere causing clotting. I love my mom and shes fighting for her life right now. She isnt on medicaid. Shes on medicare.This past year was really hard as her dementia progressed. Dealing with her dementia and my daughters disability was emotionally and mentally draining and now shes in the ICU. I've been getting statements monthly which shows the balance along with another paper asking if she would like to withdraw.

Devastedmom12,
My now 83 year old mother moved in with myself and my husband June 1st of 2017. She had a reverse mortgage on her home in Illinois. I’m her POA, and I had no problem selling her home. I got a realtor and put the house on the market and my attorney handled everything else once we had a buyer. I did have to provide proof of my POA documents. But once I did that I was able to sign for her. The house sold in no time and the check was made out to my mother and given to me. This process was new to me and I too thought that the reverse mortgage company was just going to come in and take the house. But after talking with them on the phone I learned that they would much rather you sell it on your own and give them their money. They ready don’t want to be bothered with the process of taking it over and now having to sell it. I suggest you get a good attorney that can walk you through the process. My attorney made it all go so smoothly. God Bless, I hope everything works out for you.

Devastated, it's my understanding that anyone whose name is on the deed has to sign any mortgage. Was title held jointly at the time the mortgage was executed?

Does the $300K owed include the reverse mortgage, as amortized to date?

These are the first question to research.

You could only sell it if (a) both of you can execute the sale papers (b) your mother is still mentally qualified to sign, i.e., doesn't have diagnosed dementia (I'm not being cruel, just realistic). There might be Medicaid issues, but I'll leave that to people more qualified.

But first, let's focus on your mother and her hospitalization. What's the cause of it? What are her diagnoses? Has anyone told you that she may be facing end of life issues?