How can I find someone to check in on my mom?

Jon,
Sorry to read of your loss, and appreciate your willingness to help others -

Jon,
So sorry for your loss of your Mother.

Sorry, Jon, and hope you're not letting guilt get you - you can't fix what you don't know about....

I, too am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It surely did not sound good, what you described in earlier posts.

Jon, I'm so sorry to learn that this didn't work out well, and so sorry for your loss.

You're offering a brave and helpful attitude, which I think can help caregivers if they're ever in a similar situation. I couldn't help thinking either cancer or an ulcer when I read the first post about vomiting blood.

I also appreciate your sharing the information on her NSAID use. Some nonprescription meds can be so dangerous, and NSAIDs when used extensively fall in that category.

Again, please accept my condolences on your loss.

All,

I thank you all for your support. My mother passed away this morning. The cause was a massive ulcer (6cm) that just didn't heal. My mom was a very strong person so the thought of some ulcer taking her down was unthinkable. I post this so others may learn from her experience.

My mom was a habitual NSAIDs user. Not that she had pain, but she thought that it wasn't harmful. When she started having pain, she took more. After reading emails from about 6 months ago, it became obvious that something was wrong (hindsight 20/20). She was 82 years old, strong as an ox before, then suddenly started becoming exhausted. Plus, throwing up more often. Had I known what was going on, this was completely treatable six months ago. Unfortunately, I'm too late now.

For anyone that has questions about my mom's condition feel free to post here. I will continue to answer in hopes that I can help someone else. She had 10 more good years and I hope that I can help another to have those years. Ask me anything, I will answer.

Again, thank you all. I will miss my mother but know that she's in a better place.

Sincerely,
Jon Wren

You got it, prayers.

All,
Thank you for your kind advice. Unfortunately, yesterday morning she took a turn for the worse and went back to the ER and is now in the ICU. Had I not been there yesterday morning, she would have bleed out within an hour. You are all correct in that she can not be alone anymore so we'll be looking into assisted living.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Jon

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I know first hand that dealing with aging parents isn't easy, my father in law had a fall last winter in his house. He still refuses to move to a retirement home. I used a company called SimcoeSeniorServices.com and they found me a PSW to look in on him once a day. Now they just check in once or twice a week. It was surprisingly affordable.

I'm not sure if they operate in the US but I am sure a google search for home care will likely give you similar results.

Good Luck

Call the Area Agency on Aging and tell them what the situation is. What insurance does your mother have? Is it MediCal or original medicare? Have all of that information handy.
At the very least your mom should be able to get home health but it sounds like she needs hospitalization again. Take her to the best hospital you can. Not just the closest one if she needs to go back. She doesn’t sound well enough to travel.

jonwren, if your Mom is quite sick, she needs much more than someone stopping by to check on her twice a day. If I were your Mom no way would I want to be home alone when being so sick.

Can Mom afford to hire professional caregivers to be with her all day? Licensed Agencies usually charge between $20-$30 per hour.

"Lease is up in June"
Timing is perfect, give notice now, start packing her up. Get local help with this big job.
Take charge, your Mom is too ill.
Rent an assisted living near you.
How old is she? She has neglected herself, now, with an ulcer, the worry must have been tremendous for her. Has she always been this way?

Take her to the E.R., get her admitted. See the discharge nurse for placement ideas.
Frail elderly--call APS if you are unable to help her.

Or, see her doctor, who can recommend a placement in your area.

You can always contact the AC helps on the forum, click in "find care".

Up until her March ER visit, she hadn't seen a doctor in decades. I'm now getting my hands wrapped around it and will get her to a doctor asap. However, her medical paperwork states she has an ulcer which is why her vomit is dark and bloody and to "eat fruits and vegtables and stay away from blah blah". The main issue is that she's not eating, lost a ton of weight, and is getting worse. She might have eaten 500 calories yesterday, which were two Ensure drinks and a little chicken, but vomited last night quite a bit. Remember, I don't live here and I'm trying to figure out what to do.

Jonwren,

I have found that having people check in on someone who really needs help, isn't that effective. You say that her condition is severe. I suppose it's better than nothing, but, if she's very sick and not doing well, I'd try to get an assessment to see what her needs are. Does she need skilled nursing care? Can you get her somewhere to stay until you can get there and make more permanent arrangements? I found that seniors who need lots of care, profess to only need someone to check in on them. I'd be wary if that is what she says is sufficient. Have you discussed it with her doctor?

Hi gladimhere. My mom doesn't have any friends here. She has had 2 trips to the ER in the last month and I think one of them was 3 nights. She's diagnosed with an ulcer but there is something deeper going on. Up and moving her back to Seattle would mean she would have to live in my house and I don't want to put that stress on my wife. She's not a person people want to be around, especially now.

Plus, her lease is up in June so we have to factor in costs.  My main concern is that she's still vomiting and not eating much.  She's scared that she'll die here and no one will find her for weeks.  I make a monthly trip down to check in on her but she needs more at this moment.  I'm just stuck.

Check with neighbors. Maybe one would be willing to help. Or is she a member of a church or other groups? In an emergency you call police for a welfare check. Make sure there is a key outside that police know the location.

Get her a Life Alert type system.

If she goes to the hospital as a inpatient for three nights she will qualify for rehab that Medicare will pay for as long as she is progressing.

Why the delay to move her?