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M
monateru Asked May 2018

How to not tell great-aunt that her brother has passed?

I have been a caregiver for my grandfather for 4 years. In the last year his sister moved in and I have been taking care of her too. My grandfather, her brother, passed this march. I've tried telling her that he died but she just forgets and then asks again the next day. It's very hard on both myself and her to just keep explaining what happened. During the day when she asks I can just tell her that he's at the senior center. But she most frequently asks at night, when he was usually sitting in his chair. What are some things I can tell her other than that he died?

freqflyer May 2018
Monateru, don't tell your Great-Aunt that her brother had passed away since you realize she only forgets and will keep asking.... thus she would mourn every time you tell her like it is the first time.

This is a time where you can use "theraputic fibs", like saying "oh your brother is on vacation, he will be home next week", "he's helping a neighbor down the street", "he's visiting a war buddy of his [if he was in the military". If she keeps quizzing, just repeat the answer, then try to distract her with something on TV or something outside.

My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

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