Afraid of water or just hate washing?

LOoOoL. Veronica 🤣

Have you tried having him lie on his side and do the whole thing from behind by touch.
the other thing is to keep him on his back but with a towel over the privates and wash him under that and try not to expose him at all.
I had one spouse who was desperate that I not see her husband's privates after he died but I had to remove a catheter. I just did it under the sheet before she even knew it as she started to object. i did take a quick peek and there was nothing unusual to see!

I think the clue is probably in the word private. These parts are private. And although your husband is your property just as you are his, all the same it isn't surprising that he is sensitive about being handled - how can I put this - in a context that is practical rather than intimate.

Is personal care ever provided by others, such as nurses or health care aides? I'm just wondering if it's the thought of being so vulnerable in front of his *wife* that troubles him in particular.

Taking advice from an experienced nurse on how to handle these sensitivities might be one way to go.

Bookluvr: Good point about distractions. I will try that. Thx.

Worried, how far into his dementia is your husband? If you were to ask him why he doesn't like you cleaning his front area, will he be able to tell you? Does he still remember you as his wife? Or does he sometimes mix you up with his sister, mother, etc...? Depending on how the dementia has changed him, he may now think that for you to clean him in the front area is just too intimate.

Can he clean himself? Can you put some body wash on the wash cloth and have him clean himself in the front? This way he can still maintain his dignity... I don't think it's the water because he would have resisted completely to showering/bathing. So, to me, it sounds like a privacy or intimate issue for him... Can you try distraction? When I used to change my dad's pamper, I was always uncomfortable. I always had to have the music radio or the TV on during those times. Meanwhile, my dad would be looking everywhere except at me.