Ok...here we go....My Mom is feeling much better, emotionally. She is still greiving the loss of my 40 yr old sister in law. Her daughter in law of course. The two were extremely close. My SIL lost her mom when she was just 15, as did my mom. The two had an amazing bond. My Mom wears SIL's ashes in a locket around her neck. This gives her much comfort. She talks to SIL throughout the day. As do I, my brother, and my nephew's. We believe the body dies but the soul lives on.
My mom has seen ghosts at times throughout her life. She saw her mom, right after my GM's death. She's seen other things but it's not important to expand on that now.
The point is, she has seen them. We never doubted her. She was always a rational, grounded, level headed person.
However, with her memory problems (that have just started over the last few months) I don't know what to think about what she is telling me now.
Two days ago when she was in the bathroom, she claimed someone poked her on her rump when she bent over to pull her pants up. I laughed it off at first and told her the window was open and a breeze might have blew the shower curtain and touched her.
She wasn't buying it. "It was a hard poke!" She said, then she poked me to show the pressure she felt. "Ok" I said, "that was creepy." I went on to make a joke about it and told her it was her dead ex boyfriend. She chuckled but was dead serious. Excuse the pun 😁
Tonight mom was in the kitchen scraping her plate into the garage, and said she felt someone rub her back. When she came into the living room to tell us, she was trembling! I was going to say that it was my SIL comforting her, but I didn't want to open that door.
So my question is, are there any such thing as physical hallucinations? And has anyone's LO's ever claimed to have seen, heard or felt the dead?
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I had a vivid dream of my Daddy after he died. He was in the front yard and he had my Uncle and my pony and my sister's dead doggy who was her baby since she never had kids. My pony was decked out in flowers and sisters white westie dog was in a swinging basket hanging from a tree, covered with flowers and my Dad was swinging it and smiling. I woke up and went to the window and opened the curtains. I said out loud that was a wonderful dream Daddy. I felt a hand plain as day on my right shoulder. I have never forgotten. I love these stories!
My dementia Mom is seeing her sister and her Mama and taking to them almost every day. Are they here? Is it hallucinations? She insists they were just here.
After he passed, I had a very vivid dream in which he was young, healthy and had a full head of hair (he was bald by age 22!) In this dream he is running up a hill to me--he comes to me and tells me he loves me and not to ever worry about him--he's so happy and so glad to be out of pain. I kept this dream to myself, until, one by one, my KIDS were having the exact self same dream. Right down to what he is wearing and that he has hair.
So much we don't know---let your mom have her moments. Someday, I'm sure all this will be explained to us.
{{Hugs}}
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I like to try and give validation where I can, but like you, I too wonder sometimes. I like to think your mother had such a strong connection to your SIL that she did come back to let your mom know she is okay.
Since my father passed, I have asked for signs. I once got a spam text with "I love you" I have never received one before or after. Another time I was feeling said and a stranger left a voicemail singing "I love you, I miss you" over and over again. I don't know if it was just a coincidence or a true sign.
Now I think if it gives your mom comfort then I would take it for what it is.
Funny thing is, nine months ago I never would have questioned anything she said.
The PCP has me checking her sugar four times daily, giving her a quick acting shot of insulin before two meals and a long acting shot before bed. Plus I'm told to keep a record of how she is doing mentally, emotionally and physically. If she sleeps at night. Along with her activities through out the day. So I'm probably over analysing her.
I know it's common for people close to death, to see/hear ghosts, deceased LO's, angel's and even Jesus. My first thought when Mom told me these things was...OMG she's dying! LoL I know...drama queen. I hope she has more encounters.....Very interesting.
After my Dad passed over a year ago, I could sense he was in the house, even though he never lived here. One day opening drapes I could actually feel a hand over my hand like someone was trying to help me open the drapes. I tried numerous times to duplicate it but it never happened again.
I also believe that a spirit will attach itself to something he/she had owned in the past. I have the bookcase that my Dad had built for me when I was a child, I left it with my parents when I got married. Now the bookcase is back with me.
That bookcase every now and then would give off a strange odor. I noticed it, so did my female cat, she would even stand up to look into the bookcase. My sig other and our male cat never smelled that smell. Then I realized during that odor there was something out of the ordinary would happen. I would say out loud "Ok, Dad, I know you are here".
I have a library table that was built in the 1800's, don't know who had owned it, bought it at an antique store. For some reason several of my cats would howl when walking by that table. This morning our newest cat, who is 13, didn't want to walk past that table.
Oh, if only that table could talk. Last year I stopped the cats from howling when I placed another old antique small wash table next to that library table. When I moved the wash table, the howling started again. I even tried to place a rug runner in front of the table as a distraction for the cats, didn't work.
Back in the 1980's I saw a ghost, but it wasn't anyone that I knew. Funny, the misty ghost didn't scare me at all. I believe this ghost had something to do with the old manor house a couple miles down the road.
My Mother's parent's house was haunted by the previous owner who had passed in that house over 100 years ago. She was a friendly spirit. She just became part of the family.
I do know that ghosts exist. I've seen a ghost, and witnessed a spirit taking over another person's body. Our souls survive the physical death of the bodies. I have no doubt about what I saw.
I don't know what really happened to your mother, but what she experienced is not beyond the posibility of a ghost or ghosts. I would believe her.
Years ago, one morning, I was supposed to wake up to attend a very important professional exam for which it took me a year to prepare, and which if late, i would not be allowed to attend and would have to wait another year. I would have overslept if it wasn't for a strange call to my cell phone which woke me up just in time for me to rush out the door. The call showed no name and no number, and it stopped ringing when I picked up. Someone was looking out for me, I am sure.
And for a while after my mother died, I heard the phone, answered it in my mind and could clearly hear my mother's voice. Yet caller ID showed no such call.
I think the bonds we humans create with our loved ones transcend explanation, but they do exist and perhaps are "manifested" outwardly through the survivor's strong connections with the deceased.
Perhaps this is one aspect of humanity that should be subject to some investigation, but I really doubt there are rational answers beyond that, as such, we humans do create bonds that are often unexplainable.
Pepsee, I don't doubt that your mother felt something, but it could have arisen from the strength of her relationship with your SIL, and perhaps made stronger by your SIL's early death; the trauma and loss would probably be greater than if SIL had lived a longer life.
You probably are aware that elephants will sniff and sometimes run their trunks over the bones of one the deceased members of their group. Perhaps they smell something of that missing elephant; perhaps they have connections which we don't understand, but they do seem to have bonds with deceased elephants.
I would agree with your mother, comfort her, and validate her concerns as they mean so much to her.