Treatment or not?

Daughterof1930.. your post said it all. He wanted a cure or any treatment that would rid of his shortness of breath but given his age and other health problems (kidney, diabetic) it won’t be good for long but I can’t stand seeing him always out of breath or always having to pop pills every day to get relief. I too worry what will happen if we do any procedures, how long will it last?, what other problems will arise?, etc...your situation is pretty much same as mine. He don’t want to give up but we all know he won’t be able to make it

My dad had CHF caused by a bad aortic valve. He was constantly short of breathe and tired. We sought a second opinion from a new cardiologist after the first recommended a huge open heart surgery that we knew was a bad idea on every level. The second cardiologist did a valve replacement via cath without any open procedure. Dad was out of the hospital in two days and back to driving in 5 days. He felt so much better we all thought we’d found a miracle. Unfortunately within a couple of months it was apparent that though his heart was better he still was dealing with so many other issues of his age. He went back to being tired and frail. Over the years since it’s only gotten worse. He’s now very limited in activity and is most often discouraged. So yes, he fixed one thing, but so many others remain that can’t be fixed (horrible arthritis, insurmountable bladder issues, frequent bowel problems, walking/falling always an issue, skin cancers from exposure years ago just to name some) My dad often says he’s ready to leave this earth, but he still fights to stay which sounds much like what your dad is doing. I think it’s often natural in humans to fight for life. But questions of what life is worth being here are hard. Absolutely let him get his second opinion, just know miracle fixes at this age aren’t likely

My Dad developed bladder cancer at age 80. He had the HUGE operation to remove his bladder and prostate and create a stoma. This operation is difficult for even a younger person, but Dad did okay until the complications from having a crappy surgeon started surfacing. Of course, I always wanted to "fix" him. I researched night and day for ways to "cure" him. He died at 86. I firmly believe he welcomed the opportunity to finally be free of our constant urging for him to undergo one procedure or surgery after another in pursuit of a cure that was never in the cards. I'm really trying hard not to go down the same path with Mom.

Apparently your Dad doesn't want to listen to any explanations so instead of explaining his illness and expectations to him AGAIN:( Maybe you just need to listen to him and let him vent.

I am glad that you made an appointment with a cardiologist for your Dad. As others have suggested, have a note ready to give to the cardiologist's nurse so that the doctor can read it BEFORE he/she sees your Dad. CHF can be manageable depending on the severity of the CHF. No matter what the cardiologist says about your Dad's future, still have hospice evaluate your Dad. Some hospice agencies offer more than "care for actively dying people", they also offer Day Care or Home Health for those who aren't ready to go to an assisted living facility. Good Luck and God Bless.

Barb.. each day there’s a new problems..knee hurts, can’t walk, forgetfulness, feeling cold around stomach and burning hot on back.. etc...I’ve explained his illness and expectations but he doesn’t wanted to accept it. He always want to find a cure to be treated. I’m at my wits end I don’t know what to do.

Like Barb suggests, send a note/call to the cardiologists ahead of your visit and explain that he’ll need to straight with your Dad. He’ll need tell him that there are no surgical options (which is what it sounds like your dad is hoping for).

So, maybe a visit to a cardiologist, whom you communicate with beforehand to let her/him know what's going on?

Dad needs his illness reframed. Hospice is not " giving up" it's moving into treatment of symptoms mode. Chf isn't curable, but it is manageable. That's what dad and you need to focus on, I think.

Barb he has no fluid retention. He always complaining of being very tired I think it’s shortness of breath. It’s hard to get a true defined symptoms from him because he always said the same thing. No pain no heaviness just “tired”. He tells everyone that visit or ask that he’s soooo tired but he looks like usual no distress or anything. I know the illness cause dyspnea but I can tell when it’s bad or not. I think he’s addicted to the oxycodone and it’s giving him that feeling of “another hit” because after we give him the pill then suddenly he’s feeling better until 3 hours later then it’s all over again. Doctors advise against stent because his kidney is bad and doing so might causes dialysis. Given his age and other comorbities(sp) doctor doesn’t suggest anything and send him home to hospice. But it’s heartbreaking seeing him like this and not able to do anything.

Nikki; treatment of CHF is mostly management of symptoms. Short of a heart transplant, there is no cure.

Is dad on meds to manage fluid retention? Has anyone talked about an LVD?

My husband has CHF as well and sees his cardio twice a year. He is on many medications including a diuretic and I monitor his fluid intake closely. So far, it’s under control. Dad should absolutely see a cardiologist. It’s what he wants to do. He’s not ready to give up yet. And, Hospice doesn’t necessarily mean the end is near. A few posters here have said their loved ones recovered and were taken off Hospice Care.

Explore every option that Dad wants to investigate. Good luck to him!

What kind of treatment is being proposed?