What if she is physically resistant to going but can't be alone?

Noah1955,
We haven't heard from you and are just wondering how you and your friend/loved one are doing. Please let us know what is going on with you.

Victoria77,
I think that your Mother needs to talk to an Elder Care Attorney regarding your 86 yr old father who is bipolar. She may need to call the local Area Agency on Aging or Adult Protective Services and see what they suggest. Your Mother definitely CANNOT go back home to her husband since he has been physically abusive and I am relieved that your Mother left your Father.

My 86 yr old father has been diagnosed with bipolar for years now. He refuses to see his dr to change his meds as they don’t seem to be working as well as they used to. It’s been a year and a half since he’s seen his dr. He’s always been verbally & emotionally abusive towards my mother & has recently become physically abusive towards her. She has left him. He is deaf in one ear (refuses to use hearing aids) falls a lot (refuses to use his walker) and has some dimentia per a dr. 3-4 yrs ago. My mother made the decision to leave but wants to get him help. He refuses in home care other than my mother but she’s done. She has Advance Directive and Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. What do you advise? Ideally, she’d like him to get psychiatric help but it seems that he will probably need to accept in home care or reside at an assisted living facility.

Sounds like you have the same problem that "AustinGilmore" is having with his father. See Austin’s post: “How to convince my dying father to go to the hospital?” https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-to-convince-my-dying-father-to-go-to-the-hospital-440028.htm

There might some suggestions on that post that might be helpful to you.

Please tell us more about your situation. We would really like to help you with problem-solving. God Bless.

If she needs 24 hour care and no money for private care then the question is does someone have DPOA or guardianship? Legally without one of those documents she will have to “go” willingly. I’m assuming you mean into a NH. It’s not an automatic thing to go into the NH even if she wants to go.
 I see it’s mobility issues so if she is competent to make her own decisions she will have to do just that. 
Give us more information for more complete answers.

Noah, we need more information. You mentioned what if she is physically resistant to going... may I ask where is she going... and who is "she"? What type of medical issues does she have, and is dementia part of the issue?