My parents nursing home appears to have placed a listening device outside my mum’s room.Why would they snoop on our conversations?

Els, a word about FB and its tracking mechanisms....I have never been a member, never used it, so there's no reason to conclude that I might be interacting with other members based on my own computer activity.

However, several years ago I received 2 solicitations from FB, under the guise of "knowing" or "communicating" with other FB members. Besides including a relative and the salon where I get my hair permed, there was one person who was a potential contractor.

He sent me a quote by e-mail, as we discussed. I never e-mailed him, nor was I aware he was an FB member. Yet FB was able to determine that he sent me a quote.

The only way it could do that is through some monitoring system of his mail, and recipients.

Big Brother isn't the government; it's FB and tracking devices (such as cookies) on line.

Hi Pepsee,
No I don’t live in the NH area. They don’t either and live even further away. We have no mutual friends either. If you do have FB lists them by number underneath your profile pic. I haven’t always lived where I live at the moment. I used to live about 150mls away but now only 15mls. Thanks, I will let you know what happens. Her special needs are that she has late stages Alz. The home state in their glossy brochure that they are trained to nurse residents with Alz, although on a couple of occasions when my mum became aggressive suddenly there were large multi agency meetings and the manager was suggesting that they wouldn’t look after my mum any more. The aggression settled down and they are ok now but the real reason for not wanting her appears to be inadequate staffing in the evenings and weekends and appropriately qualified staffing. 

Hello Els,
I would be uneasy too, kinda creeped out. One thing I was thinking tho about FB is, do you live in the area of the NH? Have you always lived there?

Since the workers at the home also live in the area, you both might have the same person(s) on your friends list. That would definitely cause them, and others, to pop up on "ppl you might know". Just a thought.

Plz let us know if you ask someone what's on Mom's door. I'd really like to know why they singled Mom out. Does she have any special needs that would require added monitoring/security?

Thank you for all your replies. I am honestly not all that concerned with things going missing at the NH. It happens all the time and is to be expected under the circumstances. Often things turn up. It was just the coincidence of the pencil case turning up more or less right after our conversation that prompted me to look for any listening device. None of the other residents have one beside their doors neither does my dad’s roomhave one.
I know they have been looking at my FB because they both popped up in my people you may know section. I keep my FB very private and only really post family pictures or days out on it for my reference. I don’t post anything to do with the home at all. I also have never uploaded my e-mail or phone contacts to FB and I have no common ground with the two members of staff. A colleague of mine who is well qualified and in I.T. said that in those circumstances the only way they would pop up there is if they had purposefully searched me out on FB. It just makes me uneasy.

Icecream (ooooh, your screen name is sooo cooling, especially on this very, very hot day!), the hospital we typically went to had pages and two-way communication devices for each of the staff members, who were literally in constant contact with other staff. It provided a rapid means of communication. I wonder about the issue of monitoring staff members; everyone seems to have so much to do, especially with all the electronic charting now required, that I wonder how and for what issues staff would be monitored. They are required to chart, and probably get a lot of unwanted feedback from dissatisfied patients.

I also wondered how it could be detected that someone read someone's FB page. I've never used it (never will) so I'm not familiar with what others can see or how it works if someone is "friended" or not "friended".

Something one of the kids told me -- if you check out (view) someone's FB page frequently (or maybe it's just a few times), your name pops up in the "someone you may know" list.

The only way I know if someone has looked at my FB stuff is if they leave a comment or leave a "like" icon. If there is some other way, I'd like to know what it is.

Freqflyer,
Not that I know of with FB that's why I asked how she knew they snooped her page.

Els1eL, I agree with the other writers regarding the Staff wouldn't have time to snoop on someone's conversations. Does your Dad's room have the same thing, as in your title you mentioned "parents".

I don't use Face Book and was wondering if one can tell who actually did read a person's facebook page. Is there a list of names of who took a look at a page? Just curious.

The have them in hospitals too. It used for care need purposes. Say a resident falls and the yell "I fell on the floor" the desk can hear it. I also believe it's so staff members found be monitored.

Hi
Did you look by other residents doors to see if the same thing was there too? Why not just point it out to the HN and ask about it? I'm sure it would ease your mind.

How did you know they looked at your FB page?

I used an "eavesdropping" device for both my mother and husband at night. It was a two-way baby monitor. It helped me ensure that when they in their rooms and I was elsewhere I would know when they were up and check on them. So the thought of some kind of listening device doesn't seem sinister to me. But it should be off when someone is with Mother, in my opinion.

Since the item had been missing for a while it is entirely possible Mother mentioned to some staff member, who recognized it when she happened upon it, and returned it to the room. Or if Mother's name or code was on it, anyone could have known where it belonged. Its return may or may not have been related to the conversation about it between Mother and OP.

My mom's treasured lap blanket went missing at her NH. We told staff about it and a notation was made in her file. Someone on the staff noticed the note and said she wondered if that was the one she found in the lobby and returned to another resident, Joe. Yup. Joe had it. He had one of his own, with the same team logo in the same colors. It is understandable that the aide thought it was his and that Joe wasn't with-it enough to realize it wasn't his. Outcome is that Mom got her team lap blanket back.

There are seldom sinister motives behind missing items and the best way to get them back is to mark everything with a name or room number or ID code, and to report missing items to staff.

Lets say its a baby monitor, to keep check on the patient. I would think they need someone to sign off on this. I would mention that you were wondering what it was. If they admit its a listening device then ask how you can turn it off while you visit. Remember, your Mom is a resident. This is now her home and as such she has rights. Even though it may be for her safety you need to be made aware of it. She is entitled to her privacy.

things are always missing items from my moms room. usually its because my mom moved the item. (and cant remember where she put it.) it can take me 10-20 min to find whatever it is. sometimes I give up looking and it shows up later.
if theres a listening device that would seem weird to me. at least in our situation (AL)

First, please don't rely on "facts not in evidence." Any of the staff could have overheard your conversation. A law enforcement officer would probably tell you that there's no evidence they were eavesdropping, and that it may simply be coincidence that the pencil case was returned.

Are you absolutely sure it's an eavesdropping device? Have you asked police to verify that?

Are all her possessions identified with her name?

In reality, you aren't on firm grounds complaining that some reviewed your FB page. If you read the TOS, you'll probably find something buried in the legalese that authorizes this. Remember, Mr. Z hasn't been in the news and gotten a lot of bad publicity b/c he's such a nice guy.

You open your up to loss of privacy when you post on FB.

I also wonder how and why staff would have the time to prowl online and snoop out someone's FB page though. This doesn't make sense to me.

Have you contacted an administrator about this?

Hmm, this is a new one for me too. I have to wonder, do staff actually have time to be actively monitoring all the residents' rooms? And was it like a super-valuable pencil case that someone stole for kicks or to sell for big money or....?

I apologize for sounding glib but I'm not sure I understand what the motivation would be to take a pencil case and then put it back, after listening in to one of a dozen or more resident doorways. It's a weird scenario to me.

Hmm. Never heard of that one. Maybe others here have.

If it is a listening device, perhaps it is to help monitor residents. But there should be a way for you to shut it off while you are visiting. When Mom is all alone or just with her roommate, maybe it is appropriate. But listening in on your conversations without your knowledge or approval doesn't sound legal to me. Discuss this with the director of nursing. Don't be emotional, and don't make accusations, but seek information and a way to preserve your privacy.

What you put on facebook is generally public. You can protect some aspects of your information by making it "private" but you should always assume anyone can see it. I wince when I read some people complaining bitterly about their jobs or their bosses. Would they really not mind if their boss happened to see that? I often posted about experiences at my mother's NH, and I would not have minded if someone on the staff read it. I never posted negatively about my work.

Things go missing in nursing homes. Residents misplace things themselves. Other residents "borrow" them. (Usually more than half the residents have dementia.) And with listening devices or not, sometimes those items find their ways back into the right room. Missing items ought to be reported to staff, so if they happen upon them they'll know where to return them.

1) Talk to the manager or don about the listening device.
2) Realize that anyone may see your fb postings, and post accordingly.
3) Report missing items to staff. Be glad if a missing item returns!

How is the care your mother is receiving outside of this privacy issue? Is she content there? Is she eating and drinking enough? Does she get some appropriate level of exercise? Social activity? Does she sleep well? Are they attentive to her health needs?