I live in Georgia but get up to see her every 5-6 weeks. My brother lives near her and has guardianship and power of attorney. He does not visit her very much. He took over guardianship basically by force two years ago. I reluctantly signed the papers. My mom thinks he and I are 50/50 guardians and powers of attorney, but I have explained to her that is not the case. My brother and I were getting along for a little while, but now he is reverting back to not keeping me informed of what he is doing at my mom's house. He threw away two dumpsters full of my mom's things without me, and has yet to show me the appraisal he had done of some of my mom's jewelry. He has also not allowed me to have access to my mom's medical records when I have questioned some bad bruising on her arms. My mom has some dementia but is not completely incompetent. She wants to help me with some things financially, but my brother states that he is in control of her entire estate. He said he was going to look into it for me, but is now reneging. This is what he does. He dangles a carrot and then takes it away. He is emotionally abusive to both my mom and me. What rights does she have if any, and what rights do I have as a 50% heir? Will getting an attorney help at all?
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
My mom was refusing 24 care at home, so that is why we needed to put her in skilled nursing. There is some piece of mind that she has 24 hours care, but she never wanted to go into one of these facilities. Unfortunately, she has been her own worst enemy by not doing the physical therapy and refusing the care she needed at home.
My mom has fairly complicated finances, so that is the main reason I agreed to the guardianship. My brother showed me all my mom's records one time about a year ago. He is very organized, and I believe he is mostly being honest with her affairs. He does not like to be questioned about anything, and that is when he gets verbally abusive with me. He is also having his girlfriend be the realtor when we sell my mom's house. The attorney said that was a conflict of interest. She advised to pick my battles though and not do anything at this point given my brother's personality.
Why did you agree to have brother be guardian? It sounds like you could have predicted his behavior based on past experience.
As a loving brother, he should have allowed you to pick over the things he was discarding, in case any of it was meaningful to you. As her guardian, he has no obligation to do so.
He is under no obligation to show you the appraisal for jewelry, or any other financial records. He is in control of her entire estate.
He is in charge of decisions about her healthcare, including who can see her records.
You say that your mom is not completely incompetent. But apparently the court decided she was incompetent, or a guardian would not be appointed. Again, I'm wondering why you signed off on this guardianship if you didn't feel she needed a guardian and that brother would play power games. Did anyone explain the legal implications of him being her guardian?
As her guardian, Brother will have to do a full accounting of how he has managed her finances. If you have any evidence that he his spending her money on himself, consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law to learn your options. If you think your mother is competent enough to not need a guardian, bring that concern to a lawyer, too.
I'm really sorry that you are in this fairly common situation with family conflict over guardianship.
ADVERTISEMENT
After mom passes away, you inherit your portion of the estate. I’m assuming it’s just you and him in the will.
Go see a lawyer though.