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onlymenyou1 Asked July 2018

Is there anyone who can help a caregiver whose siblings don't help?

Dealing with the sibling who's never around- there's 4 of us.  I'm the only one who helped my father who passed 2010.  I'm the only one who now caring for my mother 87yr old. All of them stress me out, all mouth no help. Can't stay, haven't stayed with my mother 24/7 not even 2 weeks to give me a break. Is there an Atty. that can help caregivers deal with members of the family. sorry for typos.

jeannegibbs Jul 2018
No there is no law that adult children have to provide caregiving for their parents. You don't have to, either.

So decide, do you want to continue in an active hands-on caregiving role? If so, then use Mom's funds to bring in additional help and especially to provide respite for yourself.

If you've done enough and especially if you are experiencing burnout then it might be best if you withdraw from the hands-on role and find an appropriate level care center for your mother.

I'm sorry that your sibs won't help, but there is no way you can force them to, so it is time to take other steps to get breaks yourself. What would you do if you were an only child? Beside on this topic, your effectively are an only child.

freqflyer Jul 2018
onlyme, have your siblings recommended that your Mother be moved to a continuing care facility where she would be getting a higher level of care for her Alzheimer's/dementia [per your profile]?

If your siblings did recommend that your Mom be moved to skilled facility, that could be the reason your siblings are not helping you, they don't want to enable you nor your Mother. They are looking out for your best interest as caregiving is so physically and emotionally exhausting.

There are no Attorneys that can make any family member take care of a love one. I couldn't image such a law that would place a family member with a love one who doesn't have the patience or ability to be a caregiver.

If your Mother cannot budget to pay for continuing care or to even hire a caregiver to come in to help you, then you could see if Mother would qualify to be placed on Medicaid... thus move to a skilled facility where Medicaid would pay for her room/board and her care.

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