As he has been my caretaker since 1992, he does not want to give this up or even share pertinent information with me. We have been living off my large accident settlement but I have no idea about assets, debts of bills, much less what I will have to deal with in the next year. Where do I turn for help?
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You cannot live the rest of your life in fear of this animal.
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He is doing you no favors by keeping your finances a secret. Take it from me. You need to know so you can plan. You need to plan as well for your own care when he is no longer able. Reassure him that it’s not in any way emasculating for you to be privy to where your own money is going.
I realize financial issues can be baffling, so I can understand your concern.
If there are no Power of Attorneys, run, don't walk to your nearest Elder Law Attorney and have such documents drawn up. If neither of you know of a second person to be placed on the POA, ask the Attorney for recommendations. Such as financial matters, a CPA could be your financial POA, but of course, the CPA will be billing for his/her time.