A female cousin with dementia touched roommate improperly at her nursing home and police were called. Any suggestions?
I'm outraged that a dementia patient who has no impulse control now has a police record! How can I get it expunged for her? (Before her dementia, she was a respectable woman who never got anything worse than a minor traffic ticket.)
This kind of incident just makes me put my head in my hands and groan.
I mean, it isn't as though one doesn't sympathise with the roommate. I would be very unhappy if my loved one were the roommate, and now scared to be alone in her bed, where surely she has the right to feel completely safe.
But how did the police involvement give the roommate any solace at all? What comfort is it to her that a demented fellow resident has entered the criminal justice system?
And what on earth does the OP's cousin make of what has happened? She has dementia - how is this course of action going to prevent her from doing something which in her right mind she would never have dreamed of doing anyway?
That the facility took the incident seriously is a good thing. That the only way they could think of to do that was to call the police is just so sad. And so *unhelpful* - no good to the victim, no deterrence for the "perpetrator." We need our social policy makers to come up with better guidelines.
Is there a possibility that the nursing home will kick your cousin out? And then it will be very difficult to place her elsewhere.
I've read about this issue with sometimes violent elders and nursing homes kicking them out. It's a real dilemma. In the articles, the families often end up having to take them home again, at least until they can find another place.
As she actually did the inappropriate behaviour, may be, she could have a single room? That way she would not have the temptation in front of her? Is she aware she did it?
Now to put the shoe on the other foot for a second. How would you react if HER room mate had touched HER inappropriately? Broken brain or no broken brain. ALL have to be as safe as they can possibly be.
I am not sure how you would removed, expunge her record. I wish you luck solving your problem.
Sorry to hear about what happened. With the news so full of "inappropriate touching" by celebrities, the public is super sensitive whenever someone touches someone else improperly even if they have Dementia. Has your cousin inappropriately touched other resident(s) previously or was this the first time that it happened?
Who is the Durable POA and POA for Health Care for your female cousin? Has the cousin been formally charged and has she had a trial with a jury or with a judge only? I don't know that you can get your cousin's police record expunged. I think that only a judge can do that.
Has her Durable POA talked with an Elder Care Attorney who is familiar with Dementia? What are the nursing home's policies and procedures regarding a resident inappropriately touching another resident? Did the NH staff follow policies and procedures? Who filed the charges with the police department--the nursing home or the family of the other resident?
Unfortunately Dementia results in a "broken brain" (a term used by other posters which I think is a great description of what happens to the brain) and even a person who is a "respectable woman who never got anything worse than a minor traffic ticket" can act inappropriately or immaturely. I have witnessed complete personality changes in people after they developed dementia, for example: Nuns who swear worse than sailors; mild mannered people who get angry easily and will hit you, kick you or throw you across the room at the least provocation; and people who have no boundaries, either physically (like your cousin) or verbally.
Your cousin's Durable POA really needs to contact an ELDER CARE ATTORNEY who can discuss the situation with the nursing home and the police to see what happens next. Sorry that your cousin and you have been put in this situation.
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I mean, it isn't as though one doesn't sympathise with the roommate. I would be very unhappy if my loved one were the roommate, and now scared to be alone in her bed, where surely she has the right to feel completely safe.
But how did the police involvement give the roommate any solace at all? What comfort is it to her that a demented fellow resident has entered the criminal justice system?
And what on earth does the OP's cousin make of what has happened? She has dementia - how is this course of action going to prevent her from doing something which in her right mind she would never have dreamed of doing anyway?
That the facility took the incident seriously is a good thing. That the only way they could think of to do that was to call the police is just so sad. And so *unhelpful* - no good to the victim, no deterrence for the "perpetrator." We need our social policy makers to come up with better guidelines.
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I've read about this issue with sometimes violent elders and nursing homes kicking them out. It's a real dilemma. In the articles, the families often end up having to take them home again, at least until they can find another place.
That way she would not have the temptation in front of her?
Is she aware she did it?
Now to put the shoe on the other foot for a second. How would you react if HER room mate had touched HER inappropriately? Broken brain or no broken brain.
ALL have to be as safe as they can possibly be.
I am not sure how you would removed, expunge her record.
I wish you luck solving your problem.
Who is the Durable POA and POA for Health Care for your female cousin? Has the cousin been formally charged and has she had a trial with a jury or with a judge only? I don't know that you can get your cousin's police record expunged. I think that only a judge can do that.
Has her Durable POA talked with an Elder Care Attorney who is familiar with Dementia? What are the nursing home's policies and procedures regarding a resident inappropriately touching another resident? Did the NH staff follow policies and procedures? Who filed the charges with the police department--the nursing home or the family of the other resident?
Unfortunately Dementia results in a "broken brain" (a term used by other posters which I think is a great description of what happens to the brain) and even a person who is a "respectable woman who never got anything worse than a minor traffic ticket" can act inappropriately or immaturely. I have witnessed complete personality changes in people after they developed dementia, for example: Nuns who swear worse than sailors; mild mannered people who get angry easily and will hit you, kick you or throw you across the room at the least provocation; and people who have no boundaries, either physically (like your cousin) or verbally.
Your cousin's Durable POA really needs to contact an ELDER CARE ATTORNEY who can discuss the situation with the nursing home and the police to see what happens next. Sorry that your cousin and you have been put in this situation.