He was formally diagnosed at his yearly checkup. I was upset cause I feel that was intrusive and deceitful behind our backs. Now he will keep a file. As every three months the doc wants to see him.
Having a formal diagnosis didn't give him the disease, and if you are talking about dementia there must have been a reason for the doctor to suspect something was wrong. It sounds as though your doc is being proactive and is trying to closely monitor his health, I see that as a good thing!
Disneyland, we need more information on what has happened. What was he diagnosed with and why do you feel it was deceitful and behind your back? Was it a test or evaluation he didn’t want or approve of? Why does the doctor want to see him so frequently? And why are you not on-board with this?
Also, please understand that no one can predict how long anyone will live. The same disease manifests itself in different way in different people.
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I suspect part of your upset is fear about taking things away from him - how will this effect his work, his ability to drive etc
My experience with mom was that her PCP made a referral to a neuro when he noticed she had some memory loss
If you and hub are not happy with this doctor then you should seek help from another - dementia can last for years and it is a difficult journey
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Also, please understand that no one can predict how long anyone will live. The same disease manifests itself in different way in different people.
Please repost to clarify what you are asking.