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Tired73 Asked July 2018

My whole family is shady and I do not trust them. How can I protect my mom from getting used again?

Okay, here it goes. First off, my mom is very manipulating and can get physically and verbally abusive at times, so it isn't easy dealing with her but I do because she is my mother. My mom is a 74-year-old diabetic and has heart problems. She can do a lot for herself but chooses not to. She can also be so naive.


So this is where I need advice. My older sister (which, by the way, neither she nor her kids bother with Mom... unless they want something, that is!) and her husband stole $20,000 from my mom like 10 years ago, said they would pay it back and told her not to mention it to me or my other siblings who don't bother with Mom either.


Okay, so they got away with that one so they sold my mom a house that they knew she couldn't afford. Plus they are licensed real estate agents and made money off my mom. Oh, it gets better. Then they got into her bank card and would pay not only my mother's one bill but theirs as well. No, there is no power of attorney or conservatorship. My mom allowed my sister to pay something only once!


So now my niece, who also doesn't bother with my mom unless money is involved, is suddenly a caregiver. She is hinting at taking care of my mom, but I don't trust her or my sister. They can never help anyone out without getting paid. The whole family is shady. How can I protect my mom from getting used again?

Countrymouse Jul 2018
Tired, is this your home or your mother's home? It makes a difference because if it your home then you decide who comes in. If it's your mother's home, then your mother decides and all you can do is keep your eyes open.

So. First things first - which is it?

JoAnn29 Jul 2018
This is the first time I have seen this post and its 2 days old.

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Tired73 Jul 2018
She had to do a short sale and my mother trusted my sister with her bank card but my mom changed her account because they were paying there bills as well as one of my mom's but no longer access that account.

wally003 Jul 2018
so your mom owns a home that they sold her, but she doesn't live in the home? she lives with you?

how do they get her bank card?

does your mom have, like unlimited funds? or is she getting low on funds?

can you get her to pay off her bills and cut up any credit cards?

idk its hard to know, without knowing how much control you are able to have over your mom.

Tired73 Jul 2018
Yes she is still with me .

Countrymouse Jul 2018
Tired, are you still living with your mother as her primary caregiver? I see from your profile page that you first posted about her three years ago, I'm wondering what the current set-up is.

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