Not sure if the heat/weather is making my depression worse, but just woke up in tears this morning. I think over lots of things, not one thing in particular. I was released from a job I enjoyed for 11 years due to a medical issue, Mom had a stroke the year following, so I was and have been able to help with her. I miss work now and the socializing. My husband said there may be an opening when she works, just in a different part of the company, but it doesn’t require any added education beyond what I have. Sounds good, but then I would be working 5 days a week and even less to make sure mom is taken care of where she’s living. She is stable, and I realize so many families have to go back to work right after something like this happening to a family member, so I am very thankful for this three years. It’s getting to me though. I’m 46 and worries I will spend my time like this and wish I had been working later when I look back. Not 100% sure how I would feel also working with people my husband works with off and on. He’s a different type of “nerd” than I am, so I worry I would be like a third wheel with so many like him. Am I over thinking or should I pick a friend to make some decisions for me? LOL I feel like my head is full of cotton and have lost the ability to make decisions clearly since my world has been so small for so long.
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I do agree about backing off a little in your visits if she’s stable, as a test to see how both you and she fare. Is she cognizant enough to understand you getting a job and your visiting hours might change? Is it something you could talk to her about? Would she be happy for you or mad?
ADVERTISEMENT
I agree that at age 46, you need to be gainfully employed. You have 20 years to contribute to a retirement fund. If you have the education and qualifications necessary for this job, go for it!
The only caveat is if you are responsible for Mom’s care. You dont say where she is living, but if she is in a facility, you are not responsible for her care. You keep tabs on her, but you don’t “take care” of her. You check in with the staff to make sure she is alright, visit when it’s convenient, but you don’t stress yourself out supervising her care.
Good luck. Come back and let us know how you are.
I would like to add that R.Smith would be so much better off working to preserve sanity. Seeing a doctor for a check-up, and going to a support group.
Hiring a caregiver part time, or even on-call might alleviate some worry ?
I get a very small income from the last job since I was let go with medical, not the amount needed to pay my bills by no means, so a job would make a huge difference there.
Yes, my sanity feels like it’s gone to the dogs a good while back. I feel very much out of the loop with the rest of the world.
Of course, the guilt of not being available at any given possible emergency will likely always be there, but I’m wondering if I have hit that pony that I need to pick up my pieces now.
Is your small income received for a medical issue stopping you? I recommend bravely plowing ahead with all your might. My dH is just about to work his way off of disability, (requires job coaching). It is scary to work so hard then lose 1/2 your income when "they say" you are no longer disabled. Do it anyway.
You are just maybe stuck, so get up out of bed and buy an outfit for the interview.
Next day, get your hair done early, by appointment, about the time you would be working.
Then, go out for coffee every morning at the times you want to be working.
Practice smiling all during the above exercises.
Take your computer with you.
Check back in after you have done them.
1) Can we really now "reply" to ourselves?
2) This feature can be used to addendum a post after the "edit" feature has expired.
3) Amazing!
Where is your mom living? Does she have the financial means to hire help?