I have placed my sister in Assisted Living and she has been there over a year. She is suffering from dementia. She constantly tells me she wants to go home, everytime I see or talk to her. She tells me the place is nice and everyone treats her well but she wants to be in her own space. She cannot live independently and I am physically unable to care for her. She takes a lot of medicine as well. It gets extremely frustrating because each time I explain it to her and she says she understands. Yet the next time, she asks me the same thing.
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Distract her when she asks you. Divert her attention. "Oh, this is a lovely flower arrangement! Who sent this?" Or, "Is that a new blouse you're wearing? I've never seen that before. It looks so nice on you." It doesn't have to be new blouse but it will distract and/or divert your sister's attention. Don't wait for her to begin asking about going home. Start in on the distractions/diversions as soon as you arrive. You can even make something up: "I saw Mike the other day. Remember him? He's working at the bank now and has 3 kids!" Mike can be someone from her neighborhood or someone you grew up with. The person, "Mike", is real enough but your sister won't know that you didn't actually run into him.
Diversion and distraction are exhausting but effective.
I used all the tricks and tips given here with my mom and also on some level with my husband. “When the doctor says you are better, we’ll talk about it.” Or “Were having the house fixed up for you while you’re gone and it’s not finished yet.” Of course it will never be finished. Or, as C suggests, distraction. That didn’t work with my mom because she was paranoid and delusional and distraction was impossible. But the therapeutic fibs did work. I would just tell her I’d ask the nurse when I left and ask the nurse to come in and talk to her. Of course I didn’t bother the busy nurses and aides, but since they were in and out of Mom’s room all the time, she never knew.
ADVERTISEMENT